Don’t Change How You Play

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ej at red house 1971 — photo by T. Jones

I’ve developed a method for playing guitar that allows you to play very sophisticated and difficult scales without having to learn new chords or retrain your fingers. You’ll use the following chords: E, Em, E7, A, Am, A7, B7, to play in almost all the keys. You will instantly be able to fake solo leads using my simple lead chart. You can’t make a mistake, there’s nothing to go wrong. Total simplicity is the key to this easy to learn guitar cheat. In addition, I’ve developed backing tracks that allow you to remain at your present undeveloped skill level while still sounding absolutely pro. You can use this for holiday gatherings, and blow the minds of friends and family with your apparent skills at blues, jazz, hip-hop, ballad, pop, dance, rock, r&b, latin, reggae, folk, bluegrass, fusion, country and more!!! Each backing track CD has an entire show of about a dozen tunes, and you’ll sound incredible on ALL of them, I guarantee it! You can order the CDs now — see the titles above to order. The CDs will be available in a few days. Download options are being explored even as we speak. Oh, I almost forgot to mention it, but I have a set of backing tracks that will make you sound like the greatest jazz and blues flute player on the planet. Coming soon, a set of backing tracks that will make you sound like the greatest blues harp player in the Western Rim of the Galaxy Milky Way (strictly a local name — we Outer Limits Folks (OLFs) refer to your galaxy as “Shnarg”. I won’t translate, for fear of reprisals.

See You At The Top!!!

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If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People???

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If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People??? If God sneezed, what would you say? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would anyone know? If you installed a skylight in your apartment, what would the upstairs neighbors say? Are Black Holes the places where God divided by zero? If you really did have everything, where would you put it all? Is there a lifeguard at the Gene Pool? If you buy dehydrated water, what do you add? What’s another word for Thesaurus? Would an Existential Map have “You Are Here” written all over it? Just remember that Anywhere Is Walking Distance From Here, if you’ve got the time.

See You At The Top!!!

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Hunting Gear

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We all know the effects of aging, but if you’re out there on the ever-popular Mate-Market, age effects are anything but welcome. Let’s generate a short list of the biggest problems… okay, first on the list would be age lines, which includes crow’s feet, cracked lips, worry lines, frown lines and just plain pits, crags and crevices.

Then comes a parade of concerns: sagging breasts, butt and tummy; puffy eyes, mottled skin, corns, moles, cellulite, varicose veins and a variety of personal tragedies in the form of self-imagined “imperfections” and “blemishes”.

There are many thousands of remedies available to the elderly mate-hunter; first and foremost would be cosmetics, which can transform a person into someone they aren’t, as any movie-goer can tell you. In daylight, of course, the pumpkin reverts to type.

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Government Meltdown Blues — Lyrics & Tabulature

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Government Meltdown Blues

( Bm – Em – Am7 – Bb7 )

I thought I’d weigh in on the subject of the most recent government shutdown as a result of a few nasty people in the well-publicized “Caucus Suicide Pact”, a power-hungry political conspiracy which is currently holding the rest of the country hostage.

(guitar lead short solo here)

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Garbage Guitar Cheats

http://youtu.be/155S86jPam8

Couldn’t resist posting this; not only is it a terrific method for taking it easy on the guitar, but the instructions contain the most basic secret of guitar I know — don’t bust yer chops where you don’t have to! Uncle Raggy expresses perfectly the most fundamental guitar principles I hold dear — where we differ is in the area of regret. He says he made a mistake in not mastering the guitar correctly. I always had a clear choice and carefully and consciously selected the path of “what sounds good to me” and what doesn’t bust my chops to make happen. Like Uncle Raggy, I never play the same song twice, even though I know it well enough to do so, because I follow the Navajo Rule of Music: “Listen to the whole, and adjust yourself accordingly.”. You would do well to watch Uncle Raggy’s videos — there’s more wisdom there than meets the eye directly. Somebody asked Uncle Raggy if he was familiar with a 60s song, and his reply echoes mine: “Does it look as if I missed the sixties???” Join us at the ICW, where we’ll explore some of the ideas behind the song. You can catch me at Club Leger from time to time the next few days — breaking in a new routine.

See You At The Top!!!

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GoreBagg 99 is Back in Town

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My deleted level 99, GoreBagg, is back in business, currently sitting at level 91, after a strong opening two weeks ago. Taking my time leveling, I’m also doing a lot of magic find for the folks coming up the line. We’re running lots of D2 safaris now that it’s very clear that we won’t be using D3 anytime soon. Had we known that Blizzard intended to scrub out any vestige of what made D2 charming, we’d have saved ourselves the trouble of the download and install, but we gave D3 a very fair chance — it was Blizzard that wanted to kill the game, and they managed to succeed eminently well. D3 is dead, long live D2.

See You At The Top!!!

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300 Teen Zombies Arrogantly Tweet Themselves Committing a Crime

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Teen Zombies From Hell Invade Stephentown Home of NFL Champ Brian Holloway and stupidly post photos of themselves shitting in their own pants, boasting about their meth habits. Visit Beautiful Downtown Stephentown for a rare treat — you can watch these very same kids in zombie parades in Stephentown New York, every day of the week!!!

300 Drugged Teens Arrogantly Tweet Themselves in Home Invasion Plot. Yes, I said “Home Invasion”. It’s a Federal Crime and will at some point be recognized as such.  Actually, it could be a hate crime as well, against Brian Holloway, and that means a Federal Investigation. More than that, even if the housebreaking and destruction were merely a misdemeanor, the conspiracy of the students to commit the crime does in fact constitute a Felony Conspiracy to Commit a Misdemeanor. Brian Holloway thinks those kids are worth saving; he’s wrong, they’re not. You can cure ignorance, but you can’t cure stupidity.

Problem is, they represent about 90% of the kids growing up today — the values of honor, honesty and valor just don’t apply to a 21st century world. You can’t expect kids to respect anyone or anything, if those values aren’t held by the parents, and they’re not. It’s a real nasty scene in the US school systems, as can be seen in the total lack of grasp of basic English, as well as an ignorance of History, Math, Science and the Arts, and guess what???? It’s only going to get worse, because the people in control simply aren’t.

Nobody could have stopped that drug and alcohol driven outrage — and that’s my point about most humans being Bots. If you look at the photos arrogantly posted on the deadly and evil Facebook, which is responsible for an uncountable number of teen “bullying victims” by the (did I already use up the word “arrogant”?) meth and booze powered creatures calling themselves “human beings”, you’ll see all the evidence you need for the existence of People Without Souls — these “kids” embody that concept quite readily.

Those kids feel nothing from what they did, and it’s not just a simple case of house-breaking and destruction. They’ve robbed Holloway and others of much, much more than merely objects. They have taken away his Peace of Mind.

The undercurrent unexpressed thought runs this way: If it happened once, it could happen again, and Holloway may never pass another night in peaceful slumber. And how is your Peace of Mind after reading about this incident? The fact is, those kids essentially pulled off their own version of 9/11 — attacking without warning — the mark of a coward — and thoroughly destroying the illusion of sanctity of any American home, including yours.

The same kids are in your home town, too. It’s not about one town’s failure to educate their children. It’s a world-wide disaster. This event may not seem like much of a big deal, but it indicates what will be happening throughout the 21st century, the Age of Terror, as it’s known back in the 37th century; get used to brutality — it’s going to become a Way of Life on this planet during the next 600 years.

Doubt it? Find out what the Romans thought of violence, treachery and cruelty, and shiver in fear of the  Teen Zombie Facebook Hellspawns from Rensselaer County. What a reputation for the town of Stephentown, where these idiot zombies who turned themselves in via facebook and dared the police to stop them or do anything about it. May the rotting pieces of their flesh drop off beside the road, and not directly on it.  There’s already plenty enough bull-puckey on the road to last many lifetimes. Why were these kids stupid and arrogant enough to post their crime on Facebook? I told you why. They’re Zombies. Attacking without Warning is the Way of the Coward. Like I said, not worth saving. One last chilling thought: These are not gang members — they’re ordinary “nice” kids, just like yours.

See You At The Top!!!

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8-Fold Noble Swath

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This is the village of Kamantha after the attack by Zorons, led by the evil Lord Xantha. Our journey to rescue the planet Karmapa and rid them of this evil begins here…well, not exactly “here” here, but real close to here. Actually, it begins in the tiny Zon Encampment in the Hills of Exile. The storm broods on the horizon. Fires burn, fear is everywhere. You’re looking at Level II of my latest game dev: “Diabolical 3D”. It lives up to its name. Frankly, I don’t know of any way to win this game. Even the “normal” level is insanely wildly overrun in constant overwhelm. The monsters come in three character classes — “Annoying”, “Really Annoying” and “Goddam it, get the &O%^# away from me!!!”… You’ll be able to download it in various stages of completion; you can collect a complete set! Gotta go now, time for our 4PM music gig on justin.tv/gorebaggtv !!! I can’t help feeling just a little responsible for that huge heap of monster bodies over there by the pool. I know … let’s party!!!

See You At The Top!!! Bring Your Own! I mean it; I’m serious!

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