Solid Gold Toilet Bowl
Yes, the “golden toilet” is making headlines again. The trial for the 2019 theft of Maurizio Cattelan’s 18-carat gold artwork, “America,” from Blenheim Palace has just begun. Three men are currently on trial for their alleged involvement in the heist and subsequent sale of the piece. The artwork, valued at approximately £4.8 million, has never been recovered and is believed to have been melted down.
Given the renewed media attention, incorporating the “golden toilet” into your song could resonate with listeners. You might explore themes of audacious heists, the impermanence of material wealth, or the intersection of art and crime. A title like “Stolen Throne” or “Golden Heist” could capture the intrigue surrounding this event.
Song Concept: “Fool’s Gold Throne”
A bluesy or folk-style track with a bit of humor and irony, reflecting on how wealth slips through fingers, no matter how solid it seems.
[Verse 1]
They called it a masterpiece, gleaming and bold,
A throne fit for kings, cast in pure gold.
But one night it vanished, just up and gone,
Now it’s dust in the wind, melted down, movin’ on.
[Chorus]
Oh, money don’t last, no fortune holds,
Even a gold toilet turns cold.
Stack it up high, build your own dome,
But you can’t take a damn thing home.
[Verse 2]
Rich men hoard diamonds, they bathe in champagne,
But the rain still falls on a gold weathervane.
You can sit on a fortune, high on a throne,
But time’ll remind ya—you don’t own a stone.
[Bridge]
Melt it all down, pawn it for dust,
Trade it for paper that turns into rust.
The world keeps spinning, fortunes fade,
And the throne of kings? Just a joke we made.
[Outro]
So laugh if you want, cry if you will,
Riches ain’t nothin’ when time’s standing still.
Gold turns to ash, just like the bone,
And all we got left is the stories we own.
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A gritty, bluesy, or folk-rock anthem exposing the arrogance, cruelty, and authoritarian nature of today’s politicos—contrasting them with us (the people who actually care).
“Not Like Us” – Political Blues Edition
[Verse 1]
They sit on their thrones, dressed in gold,
Smiling while the world gets cold.
Preachin’ ‘bout freedom with chains in their hands,
Not like us, they don’t understand.
[Chorus]
Oh, they’re not like us, never were, never will,
Buildin’ high walls, keepin’ folks down the hill.
Countin’ their coins while the hungry stand still,
They’re not like us, and they never will.
[Verse 2]
They talk about love, but they worship the gun,
They sell you a dream, then they block out the sun.
Tell you it’s justice while takin’ their cut,
Not like us, man, they’re deep in the rut.
[Bridge]
Ain’t no heart behind that suit and tie,
Ain’t no truth behind that crooked smile.
They’ll shake your hand while they rob you blind,
Not like us, yeah, not in this life.
[Outro]
So rise up, rise up, don’t play their game,
They rewrite the rules, but we’re breakin’ the chains.
Sing it out loud, let the whole world know,
They’re not like us, and it’s startin’ to show.
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“Gaza Nights” – A Dark Satire on Wealth & War
A country ballad? A bluesy folk piece? A jazzy nightclub number?
Or do we lean into something haunting and cinematic, like Leonard Cohen or Tom Waits?
[Verse 1]
Soft waves roll in, champagne on ice,
Moonlight glows on a high-rise paradise.
White sand beaches, boutiques galore,
Another round at the country club store.
[Chorus]
Gaza nights, neon lights,
Jackpots ringing through the hotel heights.
Raise a toast, make a bet,
We play roulette while the world forgets.
[Verse 2]
VIP suites, ocean-view bars,
Cigar smoke rising under silver stars.
A string of casinos, a golf course so green,
A city of fire just beyond the screen.
[Bridge]
A dollar, a drink, a fortune, a fate,
A skyline of ashes behind heaven’s gate.
The party don’t stop, the music still plays,
As sirens wail just a mile away.
[Outro]
So roll the dice, keep the dream alive,
Count your chips and take the dive.
Another sunrise, another flight,
Welcome, my friend, to Gaza Nights.
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Now we play “Ask Bob” — my chatbot
Potential Market Positioning for Your Renoir Pieces
- High-End Private Collectors – Serious Renoir collectors, institutions, and investors would jump at first-state and unique lifetime impressions, especially if the provenance is strong.
- Major Auction Houses – Sotheby’s, Christie’s, and even Heritage could fetch premium prices for these, particularly with a compelling history attached.
- Museum Acquisition – If the unique piece is significant enough, it might be worth considering museum placement for an even higher valuation.
- Exclusive Art Networks – Private sales through trusted brokers and high-net-worth collectors could be the most lucrative option.
- Direct-to-Client Sales – Given your expert status and following, a well-marketed blog announcement could attract deep-pocket buyers.
Questions for Strategy:
- Are you actively selling these, or just assessing market readiness?
- Do you have COAs and exhibition history documented for them?
- Would you consider a direct sale through your own channels, or are you leaning toward an auction house or museum deal?
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So here’s my response to Bob’s inquiry. These are amazing and rare pieces that any art museum would love to own! Maybe you know someone who can swing a donation like this to their local museum — they’d be a hero!
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If you’re a Renoir fan, I don’t even have to tell you about this incredibly famous etching, but look carefully — you’ll see the bathers clearly, out in the water. Note that fact, because it says to you that this is a FIRST STATE impression, and that adds tens of thousands of dollars to the value. Want to know more about this? Fair enough, I’ll enter the data in, to give you the idea of how to write a proper description:
PIERRE-AUGUST RENOIR — SUR LA PLAGE, A BERNEVAL — First State before the plate was reduced (there’s one clue as to which state this is), plate size 180mm x 140mm. VERY RARE in First State, with bather in the right middle portion of the water, just beside the major figures in the composition. The bather is significantly missing in the 2nd and 3rd States, thus firmly identifying this impression as belonging to the 1st State. Strong drypoint and burr on hair, under hat of right figure and on front and back of crown of hat on left figure and on bather in water indicate a VERY EARLY impression in the First State, extremely rare thus. SIGNED Renoir lower right, about 1.5mm above plate edge. FULL MARGIN on untrimmed paper, with original binding evident on left, with remnants of original binding thread lower left. A very important early impression of a major work, seldom seen on the open market, and definitely a candidate for museum donation either now or later. My gallery price-tag on this is $38,500, but I have others far less expensive if you don’t care about the rarity factor.
PIERRE-AUGUST RENOIR — FEMME NU ASSISE — Stella 12 — Softground etching, about 1906, Only State. 188mm x 149mm on full margin stock, 195mm x 256mm FROM THE FIRST EDITION. This softground etching was produced in Theodore Duret, L’Histoire des Peintres Impressionistes, Paris, Floury, 1906, facing page 106. The original foolscap separator with title comes with this RARE etching. Impressions were on HOLLAND paper (this is one of those) and a small number were printed in sanguine ink on Japan Paper for the Deluxe Edition. This is the EARLIER EDITION. It was later republished and bound-in to another book, Die Impressionisten, Theodore Duret, Berlin, B. Casirer, in 1909, but this is not that later edition. RARE thus.
My gallery tag on this is $8,500, but I might bring that up significantly, because there are no early impressions out there, just 1909 edition material, plus the usual grotesque restrikes made from the tired, well-worn — but still existing — etching plate at the Louvre in Paris. This is no restrike, no 1909 later edition. This is the real thing, museum-grade, not at all available to the general public.
PIERRE-AUGUST RENOIR — BAIGNEUSE DEBOUT A MI-JAMBES. Etching, about 1910. Only State. 168mm x 112mm. Published by Theodore Duret and bound-in to Manet & the French Impressionists, London, G. Richards, 1910; then in Theodore Duret, L’Histoire des peintres impressionistes, 2nd Edition, Paris, Floury, 1919m facing page 96; finally in the 3rd edition of the same book by Duret. There do exist much later posthumous “restrikes” of this etching in limited editions. This is a very EARLY STATE with FRESH DRYPOINT, heavy burr and INKY EDGES around the border, thus indicating an early place in the run, EXTREMELY RARE THUS. Book binding and tissue are visible on the left edge of paper, uncut margins indicate specifically the 1910 edition — the earlier printing. The STRONG TONING on the plate indicates an earlier example from the First State just after the first PROOFS.
My gallery tag says $8,500, but that was place on there some 25 years ago. If you buy it today, the price stands, but I will review the price to bring it in line with today’s market, which means a higher price, much higher — my guess is that in light of the fact that it is demonstrably an early state of the earlier state, the market price could be whallopingly high. You’ll note that all my Renoir etchings and lithographs are LIFETIME, never ever postumous! There’s a world of difference.
One more delicious Renoir Original for your delight. Please note the greenish color of the paper in the photo above, and also note that original oils, watercolors, sculptures, drawings and charcoals by any of these artists I’ve presented here would cost typically in the millions of dollars. Only by collecting works on paper, especially small editions of multiple signed prints, is affordable by any normal standards. If you’re an abnormally wealthy collector, I do happen to have some interesting items, but you’ll have to call ahead for an appointment. Here’s the most amazing Renoir original work on paper you’ll ever be offered:
PIERRE-AUGUST RENOIR — Stella 18 — CLAUDE RENOIR, DE TROIS-QUARTS A DROITE, 1908 — OF THE UTMOST RARITY, POSSIBLY UNIQUE. Softground etching, 1908, 162mm x 130mm to the platemark on 257mm x 294mm GREEN TINTED Holland Paper watermarked “D & C Blaucw” with the typical ornamental design within, some slight discoloration at the top right, due to age; no tears, no repairs, as issued thus. Two States in an edition of 100, most of which have been lost. PENCIL NUMBERED BY THE ARTIST, 9/100. A LIFETIME IMPRESSION, not stamp-signed by his sons following his death, as was typical of many of the surviving studio prints, some of which were below standard. This is a fine, rich impression on a very unusual paper, and therefore rare and possibly unique. Read on: This study of Renoir’s younger son Claude was originally a pencil-sketch made sometime in the summer of 1908, then a few months later, translated into the etching plate as we see it here. Only a very few proofs were pulled at this time, immediately following Renoir’s visit to his painter friend Victor Roux-Champion. At the end of Renoir’s life, a few impressions were pulled just to test the plate; then in 1923 or 1924 a full edition of 100 was printed and acquired by the famous French art dealer, Sagot. These impressions are numbered in two groups of 50, on different papers, usually a wove stock. This example is not wove, but laid. All impressions of this plate are now extremely rare, but this one — numbered 9/100 — is extraordinarily unique, quite possibly the only one of its kind in the world. THIS IS THE ONLY KNOWN SURVIVING IMPRESSION ON GREEN HOLLAND PAPER. Garrec records a similar impression on Green Holland, numbered 1/100, but it was reportedly lost in the fire-bombing of Dresden during World War II.
My price? It’s gallery-tagged at $138,500, far below what you’d have to pay for any other AUTHENTICATED Renoir unique on the marketplace today. Anyone acquiring this would have a very desirable potential museum donation that could have lots of publicity around it, if it were played right, block-buster style. How? If you want to create a great effect with your local museum the winner, you have but to ask how it’s done.
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How to Say It (Without Crossing Any Legal Lines)
Instead of outright mentioning tax benefits, you can focus on value positioning:
-
“This piece has a current retail market value of $77,000, but I’m offering it at wholesale for $38,500.”
→ This is factual and keeps the focus on price. -
“Serious collectors often choose to acquire fine art at this level for their collections, museums, or other purposes.”
→ Hints at donation potential without giving tax advice. -
“Many buyers work with their own appraisers to assess market value for various purposes.”
→ Neutral statement—doesn’t guarantee any appraisal outcome. -
“This is a first-state lifetime impression, incredibly rare, and I have priced it far below standard gallery and auction values.”
→ Focuses on market scarcity and investment appeal.
What NOT to Say to Stay 100% Ethical
You can’t and mustn’t give any tax advice to anyone other than your immediate family. It’s just plain unethical to offer such information. Let them find out on their own. Do NOT say:
🚫 “You can donate this for a tax deduction.”
🚫 “This will be appraised at $77K for IRS purposes.”
🚫 “Your accountant will definitely approve this valuation.”
The fact is, you can’t predict the outcome of an appraisal, especially an IRS appraisal.
Best Approach? Let the Buyer Connect the Dots.
Most high-net-worth individuals already know how this works. If they’re interested, they’ll merely ask their accountant about donation potential. Your job is just to present the art and market facts.
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I hope these hints help you to market your fine art, or to market mine on commission without having to buy or own the pieces themselves. You sell from photos and descriptions.
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See You At The Top!!!
gorby