Trumpistan Ahead!

Bardo Guides are available through the ABD. Invoke freely.

So what if all Trump’s wishes came true? What if he got everything he wanted? What would the world look like after that? It might be called “Trumpistan” — “stan” translates to “country” or “state”. Pakistan, Afghanistan, Luristan, Uzbekistan, und so weiter.

This is the idea that I explore tonight. All board for Trumpistan!

======================================================================

Welcome to Trumpistan!

[Verse 1]
The sky’s turned orange, the air smells like steak,
Statues of Trump on every license plate.
The dollar’s been swapped for the TrumpCoin scheme,
And the news only plays reruns of The Apprentice re-streamed.

[Chorus]
🎶 Welcome to Trumpistan, where the truth is just a scam,
Pledgin’ allegiance to a spray-tanned man,
Hope you like gold, ‘cause it’s everywhere,
Even the food, even the air! 🎶

[Verse 2]
Gas is ten bucks, but it’s “winning,” they say,
The roads are all tolls, but hey, “someone must pay.”
The homeless got fired for being too poor,
Now they work full-time guarding Mar-a-Lago’s door.

[Chorus]
🎶 Welcome to Trumpistan, where the facts get banned,
You can’t say “science,” but you can join his clan.
Every day’s a new decree,
Only two channels—Fox and OAN TV! 🎶

[Bridge]
Melania escaped on a raft in the night,
Barron got out using AI insight.
Ivanka sells passports for twenty grand,
And Don Jr’s missing, last seen in Iran.

[Verse 3]
The Supreme Court is run by a man named “Q,”
There’s a daily parade for the Dear Leader’s shoes.
They put his face on the moon last July,
But turns out it’s just a big spray-painted sty.

[Final Chorus]
🎶 Welcome to Trumpistan, where the grift is the plan,
If you ain’t got a yacht, you’re a government fan.
No elections, just applause,
So get in line or break the laws! 🎶

[Outro]
Yeah, freedom ain’t free,
But if you Venmo Don Jr, he’ll set you free…
For a small, non-refundable fee.

==============================================================

The Deal Gone Rong

(Swingy, bluesy protest tune with a sarcastic grin in the vocals.)

[Verse 1]
Well, he thought it was a sure thing, a victory parade,
Had the gold-plated trophy and the lawsuits all delayed.
But the ballots kept on countin’, and the numbers didn’t play,
Now he’s poutin’ in the mirror sayin’ “This ain’t okay!”

[Chorus]
🎶 Ohhh, the deal gone rong,
The empire crumblin’, but the grift stays strong.
He swears it’s all rigged, he swears it’s unfair,
But the only one cheatin’ is his own orange hair. 🎶

[Verse 2]
He tried the old Teflon Don escape routine,
But the charges stacked up like bad hair gel sheen.
Called up his lawyers, but they ain’t takin’ calls,
Even Rudy’s out back sellin’ socks in the mall.

[Chorus]
🎶 Ohhh, the deal gone rong,
Ain’t no refunds on a con this long.
He shouts “Fake News!” but the facts don’t care,
Even Fox moved on—it’s gettin’ real bare. 🎶

[Bridge]
Meanwhile in Congress, they’re fightin’ again,
Throwin’ subpoenas like fists in the pen.
One side’s asleep, the other’s insane,
And all of ‘em workin’ to not use their brains.

[Verse 3]
The Teflon’s wearin’ thin, the grift’s slowin’ down,
The TrumpCoin crashed, it ain’t worth a damn now.
And the Proud Boys? They got real quiet,
Turns out prison food starts a diet.

[Chorus]
🎶 Ohhh, the deal gone rong,
The conman’s cryin’ ‘cause the circus moved on.
No more rallies, no more gold,
Just a stack of indictments, and a story that’s old. 🎶

[Outro]
So if you wanna sell a country, make sure you read the fine line,
‘Cause a lifetime of scammin’ will catch up in time.
And when the last tweet fades, and the lawsuits go long,
History will write: The Deal… Gone Rong.

===========================================================

Jailhouse MAGA Blues

[Verse 1]
Well, they said he was a genius, said he had a plan,
Now he’s trading Diet Cokes with the prison gang.
Used to have gold toilets, had a private jet,
Now he’s learning how to make his bunk bed set.

[Chorus]
Ohhh, got the Jailhouse MAGA Blues,
Orange ain’t just his face, it’s his brand-new shoes.
He said “Lock her up!” but now it’s him they choose,
Yeah, he’s doin’ time with the Jailhouse MAGA Blues.

[Verse 2]
He said, “I’m too rich, they can’t put me away,”
Judge said, “You’re broke, buddy, now have a nice stay.”
Melania stopped callin’, lawyers took his cash,
His last campaign fund paid for soap on a sash.

[Chorus]
Ohhh, got the Jailhouse MAGA Blues,
His cellmate’s got a tattoo of Fox News.
He’s filing appeals but he’s bound to lose,
Just another sad case of the Jailhouse MAGA Blues.

[Verse 3]
He tried to tweet, but they took his phone,
Said, “You ain’t president, just leave that alone.”
He started a rally in the prison yard,
But they booed him down for playin’ the victim card.

[Bridge]
Yeah, Rudy’s in the kitchen, cooking up schemes,
Bannon’s got a mop, wiping up dreams.
Ivanka’s off somewhere pretendin’ she’s clean,
And Don Jr’s sellin’ cigarettes in Cell Block C.

[Chorus]
Ohhh, got the Jailhouse MAGA Blues,
He’s workin’ in the laundry, got nothin’ to do.
From the White House to the Big House, what a hell of a view,
Guess he finally learned what “Lock her up” can do.

[Outro]
Yeah, the man once promised he’d make us great,
Now he’s just another number in the prison state.
Tried to grift his way out, but he paid his dues,
Singin’ all night long with the Jailhouse MAGA Blues.

===========================================================================

Well, that’s enough songwriting for tonight. I’ll cruise around in youtube to see what I can find for today’s magical video tour. All aboard the Bardo bus for videos unknown!

That’s it for today.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby