How about the following possibilities? I would like to design, furnish and hang the art in these tiny house backyard garden applications. Prices will range from $30,000 to $2.4 million, in the case of high-priced artwork, which can be both inside and outside.
The poverty of the New Lower Class is outrageous and there’s nothing to be done, nothing that CAN be done — the wealth of the former Middle Class is now in the hands of the Wall Street bankers and the auto industry bastards, and that’s all there is to say about that.
So with smaller or almost non-existent incomes, and no hope of EVER owning a home again, most former Middle-Classers are now thinking about Tiny Houses and they’ve joined the Tiny House Movement and have built or are planning to build one of their own.
The Tiny House is a way that lower income families can live longer and prosper better, but here are a few examples of applications that are, in most counties, still ‘way out of bounds, but under the right circumstances, such as location on a PAVED county road, these may be achievable right now, today.
Some will be just for yourself and your family, and others might be perfect as a small business. I can see a massage therapist using one of these, as well as a homeopathic practitioner or a D.C. — if you want a great design with loads of feng-shui and magic, contact me and I’ll construct a model here on the land and photo it for you.
The whole idea behind the Tiny House Movement is to make less of an impact on the land. You don’t really NEED all that space, do you? Actually, you don’t, and the resulting feeling of personal freedom from excess and invasive presence is worth the extra effort and the resistance you’ll get from the Planning Departments which represent the big builders, not the people.
Big builders want people to buy full-sized houses. The lumber industry doesn’t want you to build with less lumber, and the plumbers, electricians and roofers are all in favor of big houses.
How my Tiny House Design Project works is this:
I construct a building here on this site. It will be the building you see in the photo below. I will then decorate it exactly, and take photos of what is, in effect, an Artist’s Installation.
When I have a design that suits you, you then contract for the shed, following my exact specifications for building details, doors, windows, vents, Ty-Vek sheathing, flooring, roof plumbing and all the outdoor landscaping effects that you care to put in. In short, you use my plans and I ship you the necessary furnishings. I do not ship lighting or plumbing or anything of the kind, just furnishings and fittings, plus vases, tables, chairs, flatware, whatever you like, however far you want to take it, all the way to toaster & blender and gourmet spice station.
- A HEALING PLACE — The placement of the shed on the property is essential. The interior would be custom-finished with powerful thangkas, the niches filled with bronze deities, the central focal point would be a full professional altar. Lighting would be minimal and soft. Light is provided by lots of windows. A sliding glass door bring the outdoors in, if wanted, or a solid carved wood door and windowless walls decorated with potent mystical artwork allow daytime retreats. A stone sculpture garden outside, with beautiful handmade artist-designed and built room fountains and several stunning high-design outdoor fountains as well.
- BACKYARD ART STUDIO — A high ceiling and lots of room to move around is the key to this treatment. Plenty of storage for unsold canvases, a place for a sculpture stand or two, an area for ceramics, another small area for jewelry and perhaps another for drawing and sketching and smaller canvases or canvas boards. Knowing what NOT to put into a small studio is half the battle. In mine, I’ll put shelving in for small objects related to painting, sculpting, etc. and be sure to leave ONE shelf EMPTY at all times, just to put something for a second or two while arranging things. Something you might want is the system I use to raise and lower my huge 16 foot tall canvases as I paint, instead of getting on a ladder to paint them. Plenty of light comes in from the windows and slider door, plus the FOUR large skylights and the clerestory windows. If you want heat and electric light, you need a permit anyway and it’s going to take time and money to arrange that, so you might as well go to the larger unit if you need the extra space and don’t mind waiting a while.
- ARTIST’S INSTALLATION — You could dress the shed out differently once a month and invite the press and public to see what weirdness you’ve committed this time, sort of on the level of what my friend Ed Kienholz did back in the sixties. Installation Art is bigtime now, and there is a whole field dedicated to it. You can photo, destruct the intallation and sell the photos as pieces of CONCEPTUAL ART. In fact, you could sell the installation itself, perhaps in conjunction with a local gallery.
- DESIGNER’S PARADISE — Get my plan for a Frank Lloyd Wright style Micro House, then fill it with different things, photo and sell the layout installation on eBay. You won’t be the only one doing it, though, so you’d better be GOOD at it!!!
- AUTHOR’S DEN — When you’re sweating out a writer’s block and writer’s cramp both at the same time, you’ll want to be alone, really alone, not just one door away from the kids having fun in their bedrooms or someone making noise in the kitchen while you’re trying to think your way through a detective fiction’s intricate weavings. Hey, one thing we know: Writers need QUIET! At the same time, writers really need something even more important than quietude. They need INSPIRATION, and that’s what my Enabling Deities and Performing Deities are doing on the walls, together with the bronze Empowering Deities on the bookcases that I’ve designed to hold your personal library. If you want to actually write in your author’s den, you’ll do well to have it designed by someone who has made a solid and rather hefty living from writing.
- BACKYARD SUMMER RETREAT — You really can’t LIVE in a hut, but you can CAMP OUT in a hut, even a backyard hut or tent, if you have a mind to spend the night outdoors away from the house, or you’re in the middle of a household dispute and you need some “me time” away from all the fuss. I fit the cabin out with very basic camping-out gear, rough and rustic. The artwork reflects the outdoorsy nature of the space.
- HONEYMOON COTTAGE — If you have a large parcel and want to plant a half-dozen of these camping-out cabins around the property inhabited by a bunch of strangers, it’s up to you. I’d tend to use it as a relationship repair, where maybe once a week you go into the honeymoon cottage and spend a few hours or the night in a romantic encounter. The building can be set up with several areas that would work for this, plus a set of romantic paintings for the walls, sculptures for the shelves and bookcases, soft lighting and full audio range romantic music from the built-in home video theater system. If you want to operate a below-the-radar bed & breakfast, you could add another shed to this one — see below, “Wedding Chapel”.
- BACKYARD OFFICE — A working space should be comfortable. You will spend most of your adult life in the workplace, and if you don’t enjoy it, you can make your life into a total hell for no reason. The office can be thoroughly enjoyable if everything is fitted into place, where every item is easily found and looks great being where it is. Finishing the office with job-related artwork and antiquities can make it really fun and very rewarding in the spiritual plane surrounded by higher vibration items.
- WORLD’S SMALLEST BOOKSTORE — Why not have a bookstore on your property, if the law allows it? You can make it “appointments only” and avoid zoning problems in most areas, if you and your neighbors are friendly. Knowing how to light and what kind of shelf is best for books makes all the difference in the world, and artwork that relates to literature is fun and easy to dig up, especially in the higher end Dutch and Flemish Masters and hey, I have the perfect website to go along with it, because of course you will make 99% of your sales online on abebooks.com, amazon.com, and other book selling sites. click here to see the website.
- TINY PERSONAL LIBRARY — What better place to which to retire than one’s very own private library out in the backyard? It needs good lighting that allows good reading, and that’s hard to get, but can be accomplished with a little engineering. You’ll want a comfy chair, carpeting, soft indirect lighting for the room in general, and possibly a high-level audio system for music and other recordings.
- TINY MAGICAL RETREAT — A small personal magickal studio for the serious Inter-Dimensional Magician. Carpeting and painting will be a major factor here, and both will be soft and muted, blending to form a unified whole. Atmospherics and magickal artwork will be a big feature. Important historical magical items and documents can be mounted on walls. Secret and hidden openings will reveal items not for public view.
- BACKYARD HIDEAWAY — Looks like your typical garden shed, but there’s a secret panel opening into a secret “getaway” room, ideal for a couple who don’t want to be discovered making love.
- TINY MEDITATION HUT — Just right for a few hours of serious deep meditation or induction. The carpet is thick and soft, or tatami matted if you prefer. The walls are shoji screens, hand-built, of course, and there is a niche provided for the preparation of tea and finger-food, plus a small washing stand with bowl and pitcher. You could easily set up an entire miniature village with sheds set up as meditation huts.
- TINY GALLERY — You would not be the first to operate a TINY GALLERY, but you’ll have to work within the local laws and building codes, plus business licensing and all that sort of rot, but you CAN do it, and a small space is PLENTY to make art sales. We had a 12’x16′ space in town on Main Street several years ago, and in one single day, made over $66,000 in art sales, with Matisse, Chagall, Miro & Picasso shows, all in that tiny, tiny gallery. It CAN be done!
- TINY MUSEUM — It wouldn’t be the smallest museum in the world. There are lots of places where museums show a small collection. A personal museum could house your collection, and the building technique allows for high-security windows, roof, sidings, floor, door and air vents.
- EMPTY NESTER’S RETREAT COTTAGE — A SMALL place to go, when the crowd of teens has left home and the place is so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Sometimes, it’s better in a small space, where you can touch all the walls.
- TINY TEA HOUSE — This can be set up on your property as a home-kitchen outlet, if local laws allow it — they do, here in this county. A tea-house can feature teas, coffee brews, all sorts of things and all manner of foodstuffs that are not subject to spoilage, etc. as per the legal requirements of a licensed and approved home-kitchen. As far as permits are concerned, you’re on your own, but for decor, I can come up with the plan. I’d put an open siding on one side or end of the building, to sell across the counter, kind of like a circus or midway concession stand. You can’t serve food at a table at a country kitchen, it’s strictly cash & carry, meaning “takeout”.
- TINY HIDEAWAY — An adult’s clubhouse, not a Man Cave at all, but a place where nobody will disturb the already-disturbed. Darkened rooms, each one unique with a different scale and different lighting, different feel, with a different activity associate with each.
- VIDEO & AUDIO RECORDING STUDIO — Fully baffled and zeroed for maximum reflection of outside noise including passing traffic using electronic wave cancellation techniques and sound baffles in the walls. This would be the ideal recording studio for the small operator, with a studio and control room very well isolated for max sound effect, so the engineer does not need to wear headphones. All passage of cables is achieved through a massive snake and connector box system, and the ideal recording equipment would be selected by Oz Fritz to match the recording characteristics of the studio environment.
- MAN-CAVE or SHE-SHED — My designs for each are quite different. For the guys, a lot of RAW WOOD, WROUGHT IRON, STEER HORNS and tons of comfort, built around a surround-sound home entertainment center with automatic porn hub built-in. For the femininely-inclined of whatever gender, I have a combo powder-room, spa, sauna and fashionista centre for the woman who has nothing to wear and needs to save some money at a sale. Either design direction works for me.
- TINY BAKERY — Again, this works with the country home kitchen rules that apply in this county, but I can’t speak for your local government’s concept of what constitutional laws are all about. A bakery is a wondrous thing to behold, and I have in mind a totally wild wonderland fantasy setting for the baker, together with a design for the product counters and displays. If you’re operating a backyard home kitchen, you might try hot apple pie & ice cream in a driveaway container.
- TINY ANTIQUE SHOPPE — Of course, antiquities, rare coins, stamps and antiquarian books would fit in here, too. Antiques need not be overly large to be valuable and desirable. You will find many items that are perfect for your tiny shoppe, especially at the local thrift shops — you’d be surprised what you can find and resell in this upcycle shop, if you follow my Operating Plan for it. The design of the shed reflects the Victorian and Edwardian Age. The walls would, of course, be intensely papered.
- TINY PSYCHIC ADVISOR’S DEN — I don’t have to tell you how easy it would be to produce an overwhelmingly spiritualistic atmosphere in a limited and defined space. Want some built-in seance effects? No problem. A fabulous sound and dramatic lighting system that works by computer or by voice code is the key to a really successful psychic reading. Tarot readings could be accomplished in a permanent 8’x8′ building — believe me, it’s not only possible, it could be made into a major chain of kiosks that sell tarot cards and my universal tarot book that works with all decks, and to attract customers, I’d give free readings.
- TOM THUMB’S JEWELRY BOUTIQUE — What a charming concept, building a teeny-tiny jewelry store that could go on the corner of your property, if you can get the permits to allow operation of a store in that location.
- TINY DOLLHOUSE — Dolls and dollhouses would be the specialty, and most of the customers would be mail-order, so most of your shop would be storage ready for shipping, in easy to find bins and shelving that allows you to track your items as they are sold.
- CHILDREN’S DOLL-SCALE PLAYHOUSE — Outfitted with the light-bulb oven and all the great play items for kids these days. The house design is modified somewhat to allow daylight witho ut artificial light needed, through clerestory windows and skylights.
- DOG HOUSE — Using my unique chain-link and 16 on center kennel system, I can make it almost any size for a large number of pooches. If you want to start a rescue center, this is the dog house for you. Another small shed right next door is for you or whomever mans the rescue station at any given hour. The annex building contains a coffee tea and snack area, plus a video and computer station, a small foldout couch and a chemical toilet, if permitted by your local laws.
- TINY THEATER — Want to have a SMALL audience drop in for a poetry reading or to try out a scene or two in a new play you wrote or discovered at French’s? Do you want to read to kids? How about a comedy session in your backyard theater? It all works, and even a juggler would have room to show some skills.
- TINY “MAGIC IN THE MIRROR” THEATER — Either just for yourself, or for you and the family, or for you, family & friends, or invite the whole neighborhood in to see you levitate and pass solid objects through solid objects, reach into other dimensions to recover incredible “lost” items such as the original Berenstein Bear books and more.
- THE PENNY STORE — A shop that sells rare pennies, and that’s all. Just pennies. Of course, you have sets to sell and can give classes in numismatics, coin search and sorting, grading, etc. Of course, you would do most of your business online. You’d keep your found treasures in easy to find and easy to reach storage bins, dated according to listing dates, so you can pull and ship when they’re bought.
- TINY BONSAI GARDEN — Both indoor and outdoor plants are part of my Bonsai training program, and water features would dominate this very green personal environment ideal for meditation and plant work — there is a bonsai area, and there is a connected area for meditation and movements work.
- DOJO — This building is ideal as a non-permitted building, it’s as far as you can push the limits without jumping through all the time-consuming, expensive and futile hoops that counties seem to want to inflict on innocent victims. Is it possible that evil demons inhabit the bodies of county employees, or is it just the planning department that does that? As a Dojo, you’d see tatami mats in the seating area, polished wood for the moving area, and a small tea area with plantings and water features.
- TOM THUMB’S MUSHROOM FARM — You might have the smallest mushroom farm in the world in that little shed, but it will be the richest in the county. You can make a small fortune in mushrooms, and Claude will teach you how, but you MUST have a shed in which to grow them, and our design — he helped a lot in this — is very effective, efficient and goof-proof, at least as far as any mushroom farming operation can be — there are accidents, and cleanup is your biggest problem, not growing. You will be using our starters rather than operating a cement clean-house for spawning. Types of mushrooms will include Chicken of the Woods, Oysters, Pom-Pom, and of course, the ever-popular Shiitake Mushroom, which sells for dozens of dollars a fistful. It’s easy and fun, but if you try it with a ramshackle shack, you will get what you deserve.
- TINY WINE CELLAR — Your own personal wine cellar, or a tasting room for friends and relatives, or a tasting room on a major highway, you call it, you pay for it, and I’ll design and build it for you with my world-wide building crew. We will go anywhere to build your Tiny House!
- TINY MUSIC SHOP — Instruments on the wall, gig bags, picks, amps, everything a musician needs, plus a practice room for personal classes, and a workbench for repairs, plus a video area for making vids and uploading them to youtube to attract online music students, an easy and rewarding task.
- TICK-TOCK CLOCK SHOP — The smallest clock shop in the world? Far from it, there are very teeny shops in Geneva and the Rockies that would amaze and astound you.
- TINY ROCK & CRYSTAL SHOP — It would take you a while to go through all the geological specima we could cram comfortably into this space. It’s a romp through several thousand meteorites, crystals, spheres and all manner of rocks.
- TINY SEWING CIRCLE — This can be a commercial space on a larger dock area, or a private meeting spot for a sewing circle of your choice, and as a matter of fact, you could host one circle per day, in rotation, and combine this with a small shop area where they can buy supplies.
- TINY RAILWAY SHOP — Room enough for SEVERAL fabulous layouts plus tons of kits, vehicles, figures and landscaping, even room for locos and boxcars for sale if you wish. A lot of your business will be online, but the shop adds class and credibility to your pitch. There’s a spot for making and uploading videos onto youtube for inclusion in your eBay and other online listings for parts and labor. There is an area with a repair bench and a parts drawer section for loco and stock accessories and track supplies.
- MODEL RAILROADER’S DREAM LAYOUT — A fully light-controlled space in which to run a fully timed model railway system to your heart’s delight, with easy access for visitors, plus easy access for track repair all along the line. Fabulous landscaping and sound effects, plus chuffing steamers and more, make this an absolute delight for young and old, and your home could become the model railroad capital of the world. Claude and I would design the system to your specification, and you could even have your very own Model BardoTown with a running subway system and railroad. We have a nuclear plant for the Northern Hills of your layout, and there’s a ton of micro-lighting involved to make the night scene incredible.
- LIZARD LOUNGE — A special environment for your Arboreals and Desert-Dwellers. If you want the Perfect Space-Benders Environment, you’ll want this small temp and humidity controlled low-light home for your Crested Geckos in their glass-fronted miniature rain-forest habitats, four of them, each at a compass setting to the North, East, South and West, respectively. The lighting is recessed and minimal, with very dramatic red lighting illuminating the habitats invisibly to the reptiles within.
- TINY FIRING RANGE — Could also be an archery range, but certain precautions apply. You can set up your range for pistol or rifle or both, using perfectly safe pellets along with eye and facial protection gear, of course. BB and pellet guns are available for viewing at any K-Mart or Big-5 Sports or anywhere they sell sporting goods or camping gear. I set up the range for you, with a variety of target types and distances, moving and still. All of the parts of the range are designed to be used without continual target checking, such as rotating or spinning targets, etc.
- WEDDING CHAPEL — I left this for last. You need no permit to conduct a private wedding on your property. It’s a religious freedom, as well, so feel free to throw a party on your own land. People can hire you as a wedding planner, for a small intimate wedding with a limited number of guests. The chapel is intended to be an homage to the Impressionist Movement as it is known today, soft and pastel. The Altar would be set up to your specifications, anything from Jewish to Islamic to Catholic to Protestant to Buddhist to Hindu to Taoist to Zoroastrianism and beyond. I make no distinctions between my admittedly inconsistent aspects.
- HOME STARGATE PORTAL — Need a quick getaway to another planet? Is your motto, “Stop the world, I want to get off!!!”??? Well, gripe no more, granny, this box is for you. I install a fully operational StarGate Portal into a Box and you sign a paper absolving me of any blame if you walk into a Bad Universe and get yourself mauled by a passing tiger.
I actually thought of several more applications, but I’ll save them for another blog. My intention here is to demonstrate that a limited size shed is limited truly only by a limited imagination. Use your Magic Viewing Extrapolator to see into the potential of any item in the universe!
See You At The Top!!!
gorby