The Problem with Chickens
There is no Daylight Saving Time, and as a matter of pure fact, even Einstein said “there is no Time”, so forget about it. Well, that sort of takes care of that, huh? Okay, let’s talk about chickens, now that they’re selling eggs for $10 apiece.
You know what is the eternal chicken-keeper’s dilemma? It’s ALWAYS too many roosters, and if you’re raising chickens, you know exactly what I mean!
Every new batch of chicks brings in a fresh crop of noisy, territorial, sometimes aggressive boys, who don’t lay eggs and just plain eat and eat and eat — and crow just as loud as they can.
If you don’t mind a few rooster executions, you’ve got no problem. Maybe you have a neighbor who likes to kill and cook chickens — I’d keep my distance from such neighbors, but that’s me.
Half of your freshly hatched chicks will be female hens, and half will be male roosters. That’s not good, if you don’t want to swing a chicken over your head to break its neck and pluck it and wash it to get it ready for the oven.
If you’re hatching regularly, you’ll need an ongoing solution, if you can’t or won’t kill a rooster with your bare hands. Here are some ways to keep the rooster population under control without resorting to the stew pot:
Long-Term Rooster Management Options
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Hatch Selectively – If you’re incubating eggs, only hatch as many as you have space to re-home later. Some folks candle eggs and try to hatch fewer overall to limit the rooster surplus.
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Re-home Strategically
- Local homesteaders, small farms, or backyard keepers sometimes need new roosters for genetic diversity.
- Some folks use roosters to guard free-range flocks.
- Exotic breeds or especially striking roosters can be easier to place.
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Create a Bachelor Pad – Roosters are less aggressive toward each other when they don’t have hens to fight over. If you’ve got space, a separate “rooster-only” pen can work.
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Trade or Sell
- Rural poultry swaps, farm markets, or Craigslist can connect you with folks looking for roosters. I’d vote for Craigslist as the most likely to succeed.
- Some people want them for fertilized eggs, protection, or just for their looks.
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Work With a Rescue or Farm Sanctuary – They may not take all your roosters, but they might take a few or help you network once in a while, especially if they look really spectacular — ours do.
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Sterilization (Caponing) – This is an old-school practice where young roosters are neutered to make them docile. It’s not super common anymore, but if done right, it makes for calmer birds that integrate better into a flock, and it doesn’t actually help with the population problem.
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Reduce Hatching & Let Hens Do the Work – If you’re hatching with an incubator, you might reduce how many eggs you set at a time. If your hens go broody naturally, they’ll sometimes raise fewer chicks — eventually it will become predictable.
It’s a tough one—every hatch means about 50% roosters, and there are always more roosters than homes. But with some planning, you can stay ahead of the rooster boom!
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Too Many Roosters
(A farmyard blues-style tune, think Johnny Cash meets classic folk storytelling.)
[Verse 1]
I hatched some eggs, just a little batch,
Thought I’d get some hens—well, imagine that.
But half of ‘em crowed at the break of dawn,
Now my peaceful farm is a battle zone.
[Chorus]
Oh, too many roosters, what can I do?
Can’t keep ‘em all, they’re startin’ to feud.
They fight, they squawk, they rule the yard,
Gotta find ‘em homes, but man—it’s hard!
[Verse 2]
Tried the feed store, tried the swap meet,
One old-timer said, “They’re good to eat.”
But I ain’t keen on the cookpot plan,
Need another way to give ‘em a hand.
[Chorus]
Oh, too many roosters, what can I do?
Crowin’ all night and startin’ a coup.
They puff up big, they strut real proud,
But a dozen roosters? That ain’t allowed!
[Verse 3]
Some folks keep a bachelor crew,
No hens, no fights—it’s somethin’ to do.
Others trade ‘em, swap ‘em out,
Give a lonely farm a brand-new scout.
[Bridge] (slower, reflective tone)
Oh, I could list ‘em online, find ‘em a place,
Maybe some 4-H kids will take a brace.
Some folks need ‘em, some just don’t,
But I ain’t wringin’ necks—I won’t, I won’t!
[Chorus]
Oh, too many roosters, what can I do?
One’s enough, but now I’ve got two… (or ten!)
They fight, they squawk, they rule the yard,
Finding ‘em homes—now that’s real hard!
[Outro]
So if you hatch ‘em, hear my plea,
Be ready for roosters—just like me.
They come in dozens, bold and free,
But too many roosters… well, you’ll see!
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Using Your Chatbot to create song styles:
Suno can handle full sentences and detailed descriptions in prompts. The clearer and more specific you are, the better the results. Instead of just saying “Johnny Cash-style song,” giving details like tempo, instruments, vocal style, and mood helps Suno generate something much closer to what you want.
How to Get the Best Results:
✅ Describe the Genre Clearly – “Classic country-folk with an outlaw feel.”
✅ Specify the Instruments – “Acoustic guitar, upright bass, train-beat drums.”
✅ Mention Vocal Style – “Deep, baritone voice with a Cash-style delivery.”
✅ Include Storytelling Elements – “A song about rooster troubles with humor and charm.”
✅ Set the Mood – “A bit gritty but playful, like an old-school country tune.”
If the first result isn’t quite right, tweak one or two details and run it again. Suno doesn’t have a perfect memory, so small changes in wording can make a big difference! You will probably have to keep insisting that your chatbot limit the prompts to no more than 200 characters — that’s characters, not words!
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Interoffice Memo
From: Archangel Liebowitz
To: The Almighty
Subject: Suggested System Optimizations for Earth v.2025
Your Divine Eminence,
Firstly, I’d like to commend You on the sheer artistry of the cosmos. The nebulae alone—chef’s kiss. That being said, I have a few humble suggestions that might improve operational efficiency and reduce some of the more, shall we say, chaotic aspects of Earthly existence.
1. Human Memory Upgrade
Problem: Humans keep making the same mistakes over and over, sometimes for centuries. They forget wars, environmental damage, and basic lessons in kindness. Suggestion: Implement a subtle memory-retention protocol so they instinctively recognize historical patterns and avoid repeating disastrous choices.
2. Climate Control Stabilization
Problem: Rising global temperatures and weather disasters are causing mass instability. Suggestion: Introduce a self-regulating atmospheric balance system. Nothing too obvious, just a few temperature governors and storm diffusers.
3. Auto-Karma Adjustment
Problem: Many humans fail to connect actions with consequences until it’s too late. Suggestion: Streamline the cause-and-effect timeline so karmic feedback loops process within the same lifetime. Less waiting around for ‘next time’ consequences.
4. Political System Patch v.3.0
Problem: Leadership selections are, let’s be honest, not producing the best results. Suggestion: Institute an automatic ‘Honesty & Competence’ filter in candidates. Nothing drastic—just a failsafe to prevent power-hungry narcissists from running things.
Awaiting Your divine input.
Ever at Your service,
Archangel Liebowitz
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Divine Response
From: The Almighty
To: Archangel Liebowitz
Subject: RE: Suggested System Optimizations for Earth v.2025
Liebowitz,
Appreciate the initiative, as always. However, a few notes:
- Memory Upgrade – Free will remains a top priority. Besides, the forgetfulness adds an element of surprise.
- Climate Control – Already put safeguards in place; humans keep overriding them. Will consider minor celestial nudges.
- Auto-Karma – Interesting. Will run a trial version in select regions.
- Political Patch – Nice try. The system was built to function on self-correction. They just keep ignoring the updates.
Keep up the good work. And don’t let Raphael talk you into another ‘simplification’ project—last time he suggested removing mosquitoes, it nearly collapsed the food chain.
Omnisciently Yours,
The Almighty
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Interoffice Memo #2
From: Archangel Liebowitz
To: The Almighty
Subject: Follow-up on Earthly Adjustments
Your Divine Brightness,
Noted on the free will priority, but regarding the political patch, would You consider at least an ‘Auto-Truth’ enchantment? Just a nudge to make lying physically impossible in public office? Think of the entertainment value alone!
Also, a small request—could we possibly tweak the gravity on Mondays? Just enough to make getting out of bed slightly easier?
Awaiting Your infinite wisdom, Liebowitz
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Divine Response
From: The Almighty
To: Archangel Liebowitz
Subject: RE: Follow-up on Earthly Adjustments
Liebowitz,
The ‘Auto-Truth’ idea is amusing, but I suspect humans would just redefine what ‘truth’ means. Gravity stays as is. Mondays build character.
Back to work,
The Almighty
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From which I made a song – I hope you like it.
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“Heavenly Memos” (Country-Blues Style)
(Think Johnny Cash meets Shel Silverstein, with a talking-singing vibe.)
[Verse 1]
Well, up in the clouds, just past the gates,
An angel named Liebowitz debates,
Says, “Boss, I got some upgrades planned,
Earth’s a mess—time to lend a hand!”
[Chorus]
Oh, let’s patch the world, let’s make it right,
Fix the mess before it’s outta sight,
But God just laughs, shakes His head,
Says, “Liebowitz, they ain’t ready yet.”
[Verse 2]
“First, let’s fix their memory, Lord,”
“They forget what war has done before.”
God says, “Son, that’s part of the ride,
They need the stumbles to learn inside.”*
[Chorus]
Oh, let’s patch the world, let’s make it right,
Fix the mess before it’s outta sight,
But God just laughs, shakes His head,
Says, “Liebowitz, they ain’t ready yet.”
[Verse 3]
“How ’bout karma, fast and real?
Make ’em feel the weight of every deal?”
God just sighs, strokes His beard,
“Trust me, kid, they’d still not hear.”
[Bridge] (Slow, spoken in a Cash-like drawl)
Liebowitz tapped his golden pen,
Said, “One more tweak, Lord, just pretend…”
“Make all politicians tell the truth!”
God just laughed, said, “That one’s cute.”
[Final Chorus]
Oh, let’s patch the world, let’s make it right,
Fix the mess before it’s outta sight,
But God just grins, winks instead,
Says, “Liebowitz, they ain’t ready yet.”
[Outro]
And so the memos keep floatin’ high,
Between an angel and the Big Guy.
And Earth rolls on, wild and free,
Till maybe one day… they’ll get the key.
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ordinary human consciousness could be termed “temporary consciousness” and higher consciousness could be called “eternal consciousness” — it isn’t affected greatly by the passage of the body, and is a very simple “me” that has no ego, everything’s connected, everything is everything else, there is only one being in the universe, just one.
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“The Song That Wakes You Up”
(Mystical folk-blues, steady rhythm, deep, reflective tone, guiding the listener from temporary to eternal consciousness.)
[Verse 1]
There is a voice within the moment, soft yet clear,
It moves like the wind, speaking near.
It is not bound by the passing of time,
It was singing before the stars aligned.
[Chorus]
Write it down, let it play,
Sing yourself beyond the day.
Every song is a step, every note a key,
From fleeting thought… to eternity.
[Verse 2]
This world is a flicker, here, then gone,
Like the first light before the dawn.
Yet there is a song that will never fade,
A melody beyond what time has made.
[Chorus]
Write it down, let it play,
Sing yourself beyond the day.
Every song is a step, every note a key,
From fleeting thought… to eternity.
[Bridge] (Spoken, slow and deliberate)
They say there is only one soul, one mind, one song,
Resonating through all, moving along.
Set aside the self, release the name,
And find the tune that stays the same.
[Verse 3]
No walls remain, no borders stand,
Only the river of sound flowing through the land.
If you listen closely and set it free,
You are already singing in eternity.
[Final Chorus]
Write it down, let it play,
Sing yourself beyond the day.
Every song is a step, every note a key,
From fleeting thought… to eternity.
[Outro]
The song continues, changing form,
Like an echo rolling through space reborn.
So take the melody, let it be true,
And the song that wakes you… will awaken others too.
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“Drift and Rise” (A Hypnotic Induction Song)
(Soft, slow, flowing melody, soothing vocals, atmospheric background tones.)
[Verse 1]
Close your eyes, let the day drift away,
Feel the weight of the world slowly fade.
Breathing in, breathing out, soft and slow,
Sinking down where the quiet winds blow.
[Chorus] (Whispered or softly sung)
Deeper now, deeper still,
Floating free, soft and still.
Let the waves of silence roll,
Drifting deeper, mind and soul.
[Verse 2]
Feel the air like a gentle embrace,
Drifting weightless beyond time and space.
Thoughts dissolve like mist in the night,
Only peace, only soft golden light.
[Chorus]
Deeper now, deeper still,
Floating free, soft and still.
Let the waves of silence roll,
Drifting deeper, mind and soul.
[Bridge] (Soft instrumental, ethereal tones, distant chimes or hums)
*(Whispered phrases: “Rest… Release… Float… Be…”)
[Verse 3] (Transitioning back to wakefulness)
Now the light of the morning appears,
Softly rising, dissolving your fears.
Breathing in, feeling calm, feeling new,
Opening eyes to a world bright and true.
[Final Chorus] (Brighter, gentle awakening tone)
Rising now, light and free,
Awake in joy, awake with ease.
Let the morning softly shine,
Eyes wide open, feeling fine.
[Outro] (Soft humming, like a lullaby fading into a gentle awakening tone.)
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On Top of Spaghetti — classic kid’s camp song
On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.
It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.
The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.
The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.
So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.
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and now it’s time to board the Bardo bus for magical mystery videos!
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See You At The Top!!!
gorby