I am Inigo Montoya…

Freaked out by THEM?

Don’t act out, don’t despair, and most of all, don’t get mad — get even. I have invented the ultimate personal remedy — “songs for revenge” — just making them makes you feel better.

Don’t you just love the cheeky rebellious streak in that? But don’t get tense, nobody is coming to get you and take you away to the labor camps, at least not just yet.

You can safely speak out as much as you want, just not in public. The whole trick is to keep it all under wraps, and here’s how you can successfully do just that:

If you’re keeping your protest songs tightly within your circle, you could lean into the humor and clever wordplay that ONLY your friends would appreciate. Here’s how you might expand on this idea:

Satirical Themes: Focus on turning their own slogans, sayings, or contradictions into song lyrics. Something like “Bleach Cocktail Blues” or “The Bigly Tango” could be a playful and effective jab in the jaw.
Hidden Messages: Add layers of meaning only your circle would catch. Think double entendres or inside jokes tied to your community or shared experiences.
Mock Genre Mimicry: Write in the style of old-school patriotic anthems or ’80s rock ballads but twist the lyrics to be ironic. “Make America Grift Again” sung in the style of a Springsteen track would hit hard, but again, don’t do it in public. Keep it secret, keep it safe. To be extra-extra safe, don’t publish it anywhere. To be even safer, just plan to make the song but don’t actually follow through.
Use History as Fuel: Draw parallels between their antics and historical figures, then write satirical songs from the perspective of the past warning us about today.
Collaborative Songwriting: Turn it into a community project. Have your circle brainstorm lyrics during a Zoom session—an idea jam—and then refine it and produce it on suno, but don’t publish it, show it to your circle of trusted friends. Collective creativity might spark brilliant ideas and some relief from fear.
Visual Pairings: Consider pairing each song with a simple doodle or visual pun for context. Even if the songs aren’t public, visuals could act as a teaser for the private group.
Album Concepts: Package the songs into something like “Greatest Grifts Volume 1” or “The Beatless Sessions.” Create a cheeky mock album cover for the collection just for your friends.

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Remember, stay out of the public forum. Staying safe while keeping your creative outlet alive is key to your success. Here’s a list of guidelines to help you fly under the radar while still having fun with “Songs for Revenge”:

1. Keep It Close to Home

Share your songs only within your trusted circle—people you know personally and can rely on not to leak your material outside the group.
Use private platforms for sharing, such as a locked Zoom session or a private Discord server, or a game that allows verbal chatter, rather than public social media, and for goodness sake, keep your songs off of youtube or other social channels.

2. Avoid Naming Names

Be subtle in your lyrics: use metaphors, generalizations, or symbolic references instead of directly naming Trump or any specific individual, which will help you anyway — believe me, Suno is not going to help you write an anti-Trump song, nor should it be used in that way.
For example, “The Big Orange Grifter” or “The Gold-Plated Toilet Bowl Blues” gets the message across without outright naming him.

3. Go Analog or Low-Key Digital

If you’re recording, avoid uploading the songs to platforms like YouTube or Bandcamp, even under pseudonyms. Instead, stick to small, encrypted file-sharing platforms like Proton Drive or Signal, or play them from your own hard drive.
Alternatively, keep everything analog: play songs live for your circle or share recordings only on physical media like CDs or USB drives.

4. Use a Pen Name or Group Alias

If someone in your circle does inadvertently share your material, using a pseudonym helps keep the trail from leading directly back to you.
You could even invent a fictional “band” for the project with a quirky, plausible name, like The Harmonic Dissidents or Orange Peel Rebellion.

5. Avoid Keywords or Triggers

If you’re sharing lyrics online within your circle, avoid using politically charged or easily searchable terms. Use coded language or emojis to sidestep detection by bots or trolls.
For instance, you could write a song about the “Apprentice-in-Chief” or “Apprentice No. 47.”

6. Monitor Your Online Presence

Regularly check your privacy settings on social media and ensure no one in your circle is sharing things publicly.
Use a VPN or Tor browser when discussing politically sensitive topics online.

7. Play It Off as Art

If someone outside your trusted group stumbles upon your work, frame it as satire or abstract art, not a political attack. Let the ambiguity be your shield.
You could preface the songs with a disclaimer like, “This is a work of fiction and not intended to reflect any real persons, living or dead.”

8. Stay Local and Word-of-Mouth

Keep performances or sharings hyper-local and low-profile. No flyers, no posts—just quiet invitations to people you trust.

9. Avoid Broad Criticism

Instead of focusing on one political figure, make the themes about the larger systemic issues. It dilutes the focus while still letting you poke fun at the absurdity.

10. Protect Recordings

If you’re recording songs, encrypt files and metadata. Keep them on a secure hard drive, not cloud storage. Use tools like VeraCrypt for extra security.

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I have for you a goldmine of creative avenues to play with. Alongside jokes, stories, songs, and poems, here are some other expressive forms you can use to poke fun, make a point, or just entertain your trusted circle without stirring the pot too much.

As a matter of fact, if you’re vague enough, you can probably get away with publishing some of these things, without disclosing exactly what the song, poem, story or joke is actually about. Keep it vague, keep it simple.

1. Satirical Scripts or Skits

Write short comedic sketches or dialogues featuring fictional characters in absurd scenarios, without mentioning anyone in particular.
Example: A parody of The Apprentice where contestants have to solve “problems” like building a wall funded by Mexicans, made out of imported marshmallows, or running a grift college, which I’ve made into a song that you’ll hear in this blog.

2. Cartoons or Illustrated Stories

If you (or someone in your circle) enjoys drawing, you could create satirical cartoons or mini-comics.
Example: A series about “The Grifter King and His Loyal Court,” with exaggerated caricatures and ridiculous story lines.

3. Fake Advertisements

Mock-up ads for imaginary products or services, like “Trump’s Truth Serum – Just Add Lies!” or “Bigly Best Fake News Station – Now 200% More Alternative Facts!”
You could even record faux radio ads with over-the-top voiceovers.

4. Parody Propaganda Posters

Create tongue-in-cheek political posters with slogans like, “Make Grifting Great Again!” or “Fake It Till You Take It.”

5. Interactive Games

Design card games or board games with themes like corruption or absurdity. Think Cards Against Humanity meets political satire.
Example: “Griftopoly” – players compete to build the most unethical empire.

6. Satirical Awards or Titles

Write mock acceptance speeches for made-up awards like “Biggest Ego 2025” or “Lifetime Achievement in Gaslighting.”
Bonus points if you perform these as over-the-top ceremonies for your circle.

7. Alternative History Narratives

Write “What If” scenarios where things went even more hilariously off-course, like “What If Elon Was the First President on Mars?” or “What If Red Hats Were an Alien Conspiracy?”

8. Fake News Broadcasts

Record short, exaggerated “news” segments about outrageous but plausible-sounding events. Use a serious anchor voice for added hilarity.
Example: “Today in an unexpected turn of events, we purchased Greenland only to discover that it’s like what most cheap bars serve — mostly ice.”

9. Flash Fiction or Micro-Stories

Craft very short satirical stories with punchy endings, like “The Day the Bigly Tower Became a Giant Sinkhole” or “How the Gold-Plated Toaster Saved America.”

10. Parody Social Media Posts

Write fake tweets, Instagram captions, or Facebook rants for a fictional version of your favorite comedy personnage.
Keep these offline or within your circle—imagine how his posts would read, if he were running a lemonade stand on Decatur Street, New Orleans.

11. Riddles and Word Games

Create riddles, crossword puzzles, or word scrambles centered around political satire.
Example: “What’s orange, loud, and allergic to the truth?”

12. Puppet Shows or Voice Imitations

Use puppets or exaggerated voice impersonations to act out scenarios like a government official trying to negotiate with aliens, or math failures in government offices, trying to figure out exactly how taxes work.

13. Fake Memoirs or Diary Entries

Write absurd entries from “The Emperor’s Secret Diary,” today I looked in the mirror and almost believed I’m human.”

14. Interactive Workshops

Host a satire-writing or comedy workshop with your circle where you brainstorm and collaborate on short creative projects. Everyone brings a piece to share.

15. Short Animated Clips

Use simple animation software to create little satirical clips. Even crude stick-figure animation can work if the dialogue is sharp.

16. Play with AI Tools

If you’re feeling adventurous, you could use tools like text-to-image generators to create surreal, exaggerated art that pairs with your material.

17. Mock Fortune Cookies

Write fake fortune cookie sayings with ridiculous advice, like “Your future is as bright as a gold-plated escalator.”

18. Fake Reality Show Concepts

Pitch ideas like “America’s Next Top Dictator” or “Survivor: White House Edition.”

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[Verse 1]
I worked my whole life, sweat and soul,
Now I’m circling dreams in a toilet bowl.
They promised me riches, a life of ease,
But all I got’s this bluesy disease.

[Chorus]
Gold-plated toilet bowl, shining so bright,
Flushin’ my hopes in the dead of the night.
The gilded lies have a mighty fine sheen,
But I sit on a golden throne, oh so obscene.

[Verse 2]
I live in a palace, but it’s just made of rust,
All that glitters in here is powered by trust.
From penthouse suites to a slippery slope,
Now I’m singing the blues with a bar of used soap.

[Bridge]
Oh, the promises swirl like the water does drain,
Gilded and gaudy, but it’s always the same.
A porcelain kingdom, a fool’s bad disguise,
Flushed in the glow of those bright orange lies.

[Verse 3]
I climbed the tower, thought I’d reached the peak,
But the higher you go, the more floorboards creak.
They said it’s pure gold, but it’s just a spray paint,
The toilet bowl glitters, and gold it sure ain’t.

[Verse 4]
Now I’m stuck in a maze of marble and brass,
Every promise I made just blew gas out my ass.
Dreams swirl down slowly, I’m left with the stink,
In the gold-plated toilet, help I’m going to sink.

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The song is manifestly crafted to strike that perfect balance of satire and ambiguity, making it broadly relatable while still packing a punch, just vague enough to enable me to actually publish it and possibly avoid the tar and feathers routine.

About “The Gold-Plated Toilet Bowl Blues”:
This song captures the universal frustration of chasing shiny promises that turn out to be hollow. Whether it’s about personal disillusionment, societal systems, or the absurdities of power and privilege, the Broadway Musical tone makes it resonate on many levels.

The imagery of a “gold-plated toilet bowl” speaks to the allure of excess and the reality of what’s left behind when the glitter fades. It’s a tongue-in-cheek anthem for anyone who’s ever felt sold on a dream that didn’t quite deliver, or bought what they were told was a solid gold toilet.

The way I left it, leaves the interpretation open — could be anything — allowing listeners to connect the dots themselves—whether they see it as political, personal, or just a cheeky commentary on life’s absurdities, or a direct attack on Trump’s famous gold commode.

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The Grifter’s College Blues

[Verse 1]
Welcome to the campus, where the grifters all play,
Majoring in swindling and cheating all day.
No ethics required, just a knack for the con,
At Grifter’s College, it’s all hustle ’til dawn.

[Chorus]
It’s the Grifter’s College, where the lies pay your fees,
Learn to fake a handshake, and embezzle with ease.
Diplomas in deceit, gold-plated with flair,
At Grifter’s College, we’ll teach you to not care.

[Verse 2]
First class of the morning, how to dodge the blame,
Blame the little guy, and you’re ahead in the game.
Professor Double-Cross is teaching Fraud 101,
Where stealing from the clueless is just good clean fun.

[Bridge]
The motto on the banner reads “Greed is the Key,”
Our mascot’s a weasel with a PhD.
The dean wears a crown made of counterfeit bills,
And the lecture hall’s buzzing with corruption skills.

[Verse 3]
Internships with billionaires, grinning with pride,
Learning backroom deals and how to spin and hide.
They’ll teach you how to bankrupt a mom-and-pop shop,
At Grifter’s College, the grift never stops.

[Outro]
So grab your cap and gown, it’s a grifter’s parade,
Where dreams are inflated, and morals are mislaid.
The Grifter’s College blues, it’s a school with a goal,
To teach you how to profit while you pawn your soul.

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Hey, here’s one I can and will publish! There is no discernible attack on anyone — it’s just a general complaint about grifters and how schools accommodate them:

The Grifter’s College Blues

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You’re Fired!

[Verse 1]
Welcome to the boardroom, it’s time for the game,
There’s no job too small to toss down the drain.
You spilled my coffee? That’s enough for the sack,
I’m the king of cutbacks, and I’m not looking back.

[Chorus]
You’re fired! Pack your things and go,
You blinked too slow, said “I don’t know.”
No rhyme, no reason, no chance to plead,
I’m slashing through staff like a crazy stampede.

[Verse 2]
Late to the meeting? That’s one career done,
Used Comic Sans? Well, you’re clearly no fun.
Brought me decaf when I needed the buzz?
You’re out the door—just because, just because!

[Chorus]
You’re fired! Pack your things and go,
Your shoes don’t shine, and your hair won’t flow.
No rules, no mercy, just sheer delight,
I’m downsizing dreams all day and night.

[Bridge]
Out with the intern who dared to sneeze,
Axed the accountant for saying “please.”
Told the janitor take a hike,
For parking his car just a little too tight.

[Verse 3]
I fired the chef for burning my toast,
The IT guy’s gone—he annoyed me the most.
I even fired myself, what an oddball plot twist!
Now the company’s gone, but I’m top of the list.

[Chorus]
You’re fired! Pack your things and go,
I’m a wrecking ball for the status quo.
No rhyme, no reason, no rules apply,
At the end of the day, I’m the last to say goodbye.

[Outro]
So here’s the lesson, take it to heart,
In the game of firing, it’s a ruthless art.
If you’re hired today, don’t get too inspired,
Because tomorrow’s the day you’ll hear… You’re fired!

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