That’s right, you heard me rightly … “What war?”
I’m not buying it. I respawned in 1941, we’re fighting a world war in Europe and another one in the Pacific, and it went on for years, and then the Korean war started right after that.
People who can’t get along are not going to survive the asteroidal impact in 2026 — there’s barely enough time to act now, and by the time they do, the technology won’t be there to handle it.
I have a one dollar bet on it back home in the 37th century. Not SIM dollars, a real Federation Dollar, and that means I can finally go on that dream vacation I’ve always wanted to go on, but I haven’t been able to dream up any destinations, so here I still am.
Yep, I’m still here, 80 years later, carving coins and painting flips and stringing ancient beads into modern fancy necklaces, because war or not, we have to make a living.
It’s not just about money. A job is more than money, as I believe I’ve heard President Biden mention once in a speech he gave, if I remember rightly.
Oh, don’t get me wrong — I like Biden ok, but he’s a bit — dry. No flash, no pzazz, just straight honest Washington Bullshit, and I do like a bit of verve with my admin.
What I mean is, he’s no Zelinsky, but then again, neither is Putin.
Actually, Putin looks a bit ill, as if he’s eaten something that doesn’t agree with him. Maybe it’s Ukraine.
My opinion is that Zelinsky will galvanize the Ukraines, and if something should happen to him, he will be even more powerful, kind of like that guy with the light saber, huh?
Obi-Wan Kenobe, a fine off-world alien world name that turned out to be. Couldn’t it have sounded just a little less Earthian?
I know a lot about Ukraine. My grandparents lived in Ludz, Poland, until the Pogroms killed off everyone in the town.
One morning, in the Ghetto section of Ludz, Grandpa Herman woke up in bed, only to hear from his family that Poland was no longer annexed to Russia.
“Poland is Poland,” he announced, “Finally, no more of those horrible freezing Russian winters!”
Last week, a Russian citizen walked into Gum’s department store on Nikolayevski Plaza, and marched directly to the shoe department, where he told the clerk, “Show me a pair of shoes in size thirty-six.”
“You look more like a forty or forty-one, suggested the clerk.
“I know what I’m doing,” the customer insisted. “Of course I wear a forty-one, but this is Russia — when I take off those thirty-sixes, it will be the first comfort I feel all day long.”
A Russian woman in Moscow managed to get aboard a bus just as it was taking off. Still gasping for breath, she managed to utter “Thank the Lord”.
“Don’t say that,” the driver hushed her, “say “Thank Putin”.
“What happens when Putin is gone?”
“THEN you can say, “Thank the Lord”.
Two rabbits met in Siberia. One of them said, “We have to get out of here, fast. The soldiers are combing the forest, and they intend to castrate us.”
The other rabbit corrected him: “They’re only castrating camels today.”
“Okay,” said the first, after they cut off your balls, you can try to convince them that you’re not a camel.”
In Russia, if you mention the war, you can really talk your head off, and hey — it’s finally happened … Russia has run out of shortages, and you do know why Russians always walk in threes???
One of them can write, another can read, and the third is there to guard these two intelligentsia from the mob.
The Official Russian Government website actually held a contest for the funniest anti-government joke. First Prize was 20 years.
The Russian labor minister, Popov, asked last week “Why did MacDonalds and Coca Cola and all those Western businesses suddenly pull out of Russia?”
This week, they’re asking “What ever happened to Popov?”
Two Russians met on the street, and one of them spit into the gutter. “Please,” said the other man, “let’s not talk politics today.”
The Russians were trying to figure out whether one of the mummies in their museum was a male or a female. “Simple,” Putin told the minister of Antiquities, “I can handle this. Give me 20 minutes alone with the mummy.”
Twenty minutes later, he emerged from the museum chamber, and said “Female.”
“How did you come to this conclusion?” the curator asked.
“Simple,” Putin smiled uncharacteristically, “the mummy confessed.”
The Russian Air Force has just developed a new parachute. It opens on impact.
Two Russians in Ukraine apparently froze to death in their car in the parking lot of the local drive-in theater, where they were showing the latest Russian film, “Closed for the Winter”.
The Russians have just issued a new dictionary that defeats all spies. It’s not in alphabetical order, and you DO know what you call a pretty girl in Russia, don’t you? A tourist.
A Russian soldier was stabbed 137 times in the hand yesterday. He was learning how to eat with a fork.
Okay, I’m back to work now, painting God World flips.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby