Everybody says they want non-violent video games, but does anybody actually BUY them??? Here are the five best non-violent video games as of August, 2020:
Take a ride through the one-minute Karma Wash and see how great it feels when you’re scrubbed clean of accumulated karmic barnacles and surface crud. You’ll learn osmotically how to take the Cleansing and Dissolving Radiations.
Be prepared for the Afterlife by getting used to it now.
COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION:
What will they say about you when you’re dead?
Have you ever wondered what they’d say when you’re laid out in the funeral home chapel? Well, here’s your chance to really learn about yourself, when your friends and neighbors take the opportunity to roast you.
Of course, at the pre-need “End of Life Celebration”, you actually get to respond to your critics with scorchers and zingers and put-down shticks of your own — something you’ll find almost impossible at your actual funeral.
By the way, I have a firm policy — you don’t go to my funeral, I certainly won’t go to yours — and you shouldn’t ask for a big fancy funeral. All you want is a few close friends to gather at the grave site and bring you back to life.
[COMMERCIAL OUT, MUSIC OUT]
Okay, we’re back. Let’s look at some more non-violent games that are perfect for a covid environment, ideal for lockdown and great for a break from the mindless tedium of nothingness, punctuated by pizza deliveries and lunchtime — an illusion if ever there was one.
Want more LOVE in your life? LOVE in your heart? LOVE in your future? Well, get into this Orb and run it a thousand times, for the love of your life.
Contains powerful affirmations and magical assistance from Above to help you make your wishes come true!
What’s more, the things inside this virtual space and all my virtual charms and amulets are ALWAYS going on, so with your participation or not, it’s always happening, so it works for you night and day!
This Orb comes to you in a WEARABLE Flash-Drive LOCKET (chain not included), so you can use it as a CHARM or AMULET.
If you’re a cat-lover, you have the answer to the question, “How many cats is enough?” — of course, the answer is, “Just one more.” — and that’s what this is.
“Cat Heaven” has so many cats you can’t even count them, mostly because some of them are so well-hidden, you might never find them.
Cats in all sorts of places, everything from a fabulous ancient Egyptian palace to the Cave of the Ancients, and even a small living room with a tv set on a low table so the cats can see the nightly news, not that they care.
They have issues of their own.
Once again, this comes to you in a wearable flash-drive locket which you can carry or wear as a charm or amulet, for the health and safety of your feline friends.
Need more attention? Drifting off more lately? Find yourself suddenly where you’ve been all the time?
Maybe it’s time that you should download “Attention 3 Extreme” and take things easy for a change.
Attention isn’t that hard to come by, but it does need practice, practice, practice, and that’s what this Orb is meant to do, so get on it right now — it might just save your life.
Yes, there is a button you can push that says “SAVE LIFE”, but it’s harder to make a deposit than it is to make a withdrawal, if you know what I mean.
Even if you don’t know what I mean, the thing still stands.
Need some help in your life? Why not call down an angel? How about invoking your Guardian Angel?
Problem is, you don’t know how.
Well, fret no more. Angelic Invocation at the touch of a mouse.
You can’t go wrong. It does all the invoking for you, as you run through the Orb.
Yes, you lived in Atlantis, and here’s the experience that’s going to help you recover some of those ancient memories of just one of your many ancient lives.
Not only will it bring a flood of ancient memories –it will revive many long-lost skills.
You might suddenly be able to play the ancient aeolian harp, but then you’ll need my help to find one in this horrid modern society.
Lutes and zithers are equally hard to find.
I’ll post more non-violent games as time allows — must dash for breakfast and morning darsh… uh, I mean, “meeting”.
Yeah, that’s it. Morning meeting. Except that in Mumbai, it’s Evening Meeting, and in Nova Scotia, it’s just “meeting”, because everyone in the Great White North is on Northern Time.
Nobody knows what that is, but for an answer, go to Frostbite Falls, and look for Upside-Downium and Unobtainium, two new sources of infinite power for your interstellar rocket engines.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby