Yes, it’s your very own funeral motorcade and open-casket service, along with a feast at your Wake, followed by general mayhem and merriment, celebrating your life and work.
Well, at least your life.
Okay, maybe not your WHOLE life, but certainly portions thereof.
It’s your life. Get behind the wheel, and start driving your car. That works best if you’re not trying to drive the cars of others. This is the interior of one of the funeral cars.
You can easily see why I spent the money on these cars. The Monarch Motors cars are, without a doubt, the best-engineered and craftily built vehicles in Second Life.
One other hint — the car does not move unless the engine is on, or it’s on a tow-truck. Where is YOUR car??? Is your engine on? Do your brake lights work?
I once asked a gas station attendant to tell me if my turn signals worked — he said, “Yeah, they do … no, they don’t. Yep, it does. Now it doesn’t.”
Silly of me to ask for help — I can just hop out of the car and see for myself. This doesn’t work well on the freeway.
In California, everyone used to drive so fast that when they posted the 55 mile an hour speed limit, several motorists got hurt by getting out of their car, thinking they were parked.
So, Host a Funeral.
It doesn’t have to be a funeral. It can be an Ancient Egyptian Bar-Mitvah Procession, an End of Life Celebration, a comedy roast, a wedding, a bar or a charity fund-raiser, a birthday party or a graduation ceremony, anything that usually requires a large gathering of folks, which is post-corona totally unsafe and downright dangerous and life-threatening.
Stay home, and help others to stay home, during a time of great personal crisis — a funeral.
But like I said, it doesn’t have to be a funeral.
It can even be a briss, a Jewish circumcision ceremony in which a special Rabbi, called a “Moyl” does the honors, and you have to admit, the Jews are the bravest of all peoples — they cut off an inch before they even know what’s going to be there.
Sure you can have a Briss in Second Life.
There are thousands of mesh models and mocap animations within Second Life’s powerful marketplace that allow you to conduct just about any medical experiment, including the Miracle of Childbirth, virtually speaking.
There is no human activity that is NOT represented in Second Life, so beware.
Remember this, always — “You can never remember the thing when you most need it.” I know that’s irrelevant, but I had it sitting on a postit pad for days.
Okay, let’s get serious.
I intend to show SOMEBODY — only a very few will ever try what I recommend, and few will follow it all the way to success — how to engineer an online multi-person funeral and wake, generally considered a profound personal experience, when personally experienced.
Please pay attention and don’t allow your protuberances to drift outside the vehicle until it has come to a complete halt.
Just park it.
Sure, the virtual procession and service and following End of Life Celebration Party are not the same as a flesh-and-blood visceral in-your-face experience, but it’s a close second, and it’s a helluva lot safer than risking your life in public, masked or unmasked.
Stay at home, if at all possible. Isolate, quarantine, get to a hole and pull the dirt in. Hunker down and stay down. Period.
Stay at HOME!!!
So in doing that, you can earn a living and do a LOT of people a profoundly valuable service, by hosting LIVE VIRTUAL EVENTS, such as birthday parties, weddings, graduations, public service events and of course end-of-life celebrations and funerals.
Heck, you could stage a procession down an Egyptian boulevard or a Roman street or Outer Space, if that’s your taste in venues.
From now on, when you teleport from the Chen-Rig Temple up to BardoTown, you’ll end up here, in the city cemetery, where the dead come to celebrate the living, and the living come to celebrate the dead.
I like the poetic sense of it, don’t you?
It’s all very complicated, but it all works out somehow in the end.
You do realize that virtual events are a whole lot safer, and no less personal, than flesh-and-blood events???
Well, they are just as potent, and the experience will be FELT as well as SEEN.
It’s different than a Zoom Wedding or Funeral, by a long shot, and when you take the Wake into account, there’s no comparison.
Your Avatar can eat that special food that was saved “for After”, meaning Grampa didn’t get to sample what’s just for guests before he went.
SAFETY is the big issue these days, and even when the Corona Virus has been tempered a bit, there’s always something just around the corner coming to get you.
Well, in virtual world events, there is no virus, nothing to harm you. It’s totally safe in there, and all are welcome.
You can learn how to host events, and even create entire events, custom-made to order. You can hire people to play the Service Avatar parts, such as the MC or Priest or Shaman.
It can also be just a celebration, nothing involving actual damage to the body.
Why not have a SAFE Earth Day Event, or a SAFE Halloween Event, or a TOTALLY SAFE Art party???’
You can have those things for yourself, but you can also make from this a living. There are now literally BILLIONS of people out there looking for some way to interact safely with others, and we have an incredible solution that really works, really conveys the actual experience as if you were there in person, because YOU ARE there in person!!!
Avatar Life in the Virtual World is no less “real” than your everyday experience, but in the virtual world, you’re totally safe, and that’s the difference.
I’m standing right by seven open graves — that’s us — and a freshly dug grave, which will be your funeral procession target at the cemetery.
In short, we always use the same coffin and the same grave — and why not? Who’s going to be in there tomorrow?
Whomever booked the event, that’s who.
And how will it be billed? Why, in Lindens, of course, making the whole thing totally painless as well as totally safe.
What kind of services can we offer?
Well, you can host an event, or help plan one, or help run one, or all three. It’s entirely up to you.
If you want to schedule your own events where you get paid for the event, we can certainly arrange something — there will be a “setup fee” or donation or some such agreement.
Okay, if you want to go commercial with this, you’ll be able to hire people to work from home, and nobody has a job anymore, so it’s all open for grabs, at least as far as getting personnel to help with the event bookings that will flood you in a very short time, when the Second and Third Wave hit and, rest assured, they will.
It’s in the script.
Hey, these cars are DRIVEABLE right up to the cemetery and back to the chapel where the services were held, which in this case is also the Zombie Family Mortuary.
I use nothing but MONARCH vehicles in my booked events, making sure that the event will be thoroughly tangible, feelable and memorable, which is the whole point of the thing.
Feeling comes with experience. You’re in there with friends and family, all of whom have an Avatar representing them.
You can change the facial expressions, gesture as wildly or as subtly as you wish, and even dance the Samba with Motion-Capture moves.
It’s all very personal.
How often do you get a coffin like this in which to be buried?
Not only is that casket hand-made, it’s a custom job by Henry of Hollywood, our Master Coffinsmith, as it were, although the job is open to any mesh builder who wants to take it on.
We here at the Compleat Enchanter Gift Shop and Funeral Parlor are always gassed up and ready to roll, and if nobody died, how about a Bar-Mitvah or a Birthday Party?
We don’t use the hearse and flower car for Birthday Celebrations, but we will, if you insist.
I really, truly hope you “get it” — this is a new profession, that of online event host, and YOU could be part of it.
This is a great way for us to introduce the Work to many folks who need a SAFE way to gather for group events.
I look forward to seeing you at our workshops where we will learn how to use this tool for the benefit of All Beings Everywhere, including you.
Be sure to visit the Compleat Enchanter in BardoTown! It’s under construction, and includes an incredible discount funeral home, where you just drop the body off, and don’t ask questions.
That’s always a good policy.
What with all these distractions and crimes in high places, it’s hard to concentrate, I know, but DO keep up your Practices!
Heaven is only one step away.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby