Humans of Planet Earth. People. You know I love ’em. The fact is that they’re not really very calm or gentle, but that’s not my point at all. My point is that you wouldn’t expect a wild animal such as a lion or a tiger — even one that has been tamed — to not react with instant savage unthinking aggression, from time to time. Moreover, you couldn’t be certain what might or might not trigger the big cat off. This is where I part company with the psychologists and other micro-managers of the human brain. I quote from the Trans-Universe Beddikker’s Guide, to wit:
If you understand that a wild animal is never actually tame no matter how trained it might be, you can easily learn to work with humans, a hairless ape descendent of planet Urth. In general, avoid contact whenever possible. If, however, you find yourself stranded on Urth and require mass quantities of stuff, you’ll need a job and if that job involves others, it may well be that you run into a situation such as this:
You arrive at work and one of the secretaries nudges you, winks and says wrily, “Boss didn’t get any last night, better steer clear, he’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’.”
Presumably you understand enough of this crude human organically-based communication to get the idea that you really don’t want to proffer yourself as a “next-nearest-target” to whomever is pissed or upset or stressed out in the workplace at the moment.
Unpleasant events could unfold should you select to disregard the warning given by your secretarial friend.
Is this a cynical sneering jibe at Humans of Planet Earth (HoPEs)??? You bet your sweet bippy it is, but that’s not the point.
The point is that if you learn to handle big cats — I knew them so well that my friend entrusted me with his big cats in his kitchen for over a half hour alone with them. It takes patience and control of body odor — really.
Respect for the cats goes hand-in-glove with control through intimidation and certainty. While control works well for animals you either own or rent, it’s not a good strategy in the workplace or at home.
You really don’t want to get into a struggle for domination of will, or descend into the Hell of Family Squabble over a minor point about something that doesn’t matter at all, like “…and I insist, the seventh dwarf was named Squiffy!!!”
In Creation Story Verbatim, there’s a line spoken by the Lord. She’s rambling and suddenly stops and wonderingly muses…”I’m sure I gave them the instructions for handling life…I told them ‘Do what you do.'”.
That is the basis of Buddhist philosophy, as well as the foundation of many spiritual paths. Give people the space to be whatever it is they are. Of course, you’d be a fool to put your right arm into a lion’s mouth and expect to get away with it forever, as my friend Lefty often says.
You know what? You couldn’t get mad at the lion for snapping off the left arm. You put the meat into the lion’s mouth, and if the deep growls didn’t alert you about what might possibly happen as a result, you’re too stupid to own the arm in the first place.
So when you find your left arm shredded or ripped out of its socket and you come complaining to me, I’ll refer you to this little chapter. Mess with humans, you had it coming. Learn to expect it without flinching or letting on that you know it could happen. You’ll get more out of life that way.
Basic Rule: Don’t make the lion wrong for being a lion! But don’t be stupid — realize you’re in a room alone with a slightly tamed, slightly civilized, group of Mixed Cats, and they’re hungry, tired, angry and haven’t had sex or a good dump for days.
Welcome to Planet Urth, where you’ll experience a world of hurt. You’ll do fine as long as you remember the basic rule.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby