What’s the holdup, you ask? Here’s the answer:
I’m working on something that’s so huge a breakthrough in interactive gaming that it makes any game out there downright neolithic. We’ve got an amazing, absolutely astounding ai guy at our helm in the game engine department. His specialty always has been in the intelligence area, meaning a computer that can outsmart a human — in my book, never a tough task, but evidently on this particular brand of Earth, there’s an issue.
Listen, I never expected more. I knew what I was getting myself into when I came here, knew the risks and was super-aware of the unpleasant odors and difficult manifestations of humans and other primates here, but here I am anyway. I’ve been here many times before, been rewarded many times with an unpleasant welcome, and landed in respawn more times than anyone can count, yet here I am to tell the tale.
Sort of like a really annoying Elf Scout with that horrible flapping Mackerel in his hand.
So why the heck-darn did I suddenly all of a sudden stop working on Orbs?
I didn’t.
I stopped releasing Orbs, as of today, and I’ll happily tell you why.
Dick has come up with the most amazing breakthrough in interactive gaming. For quite awhile now, you’ve been able to connect a keystroke to a word, phrase or sentence of pre-recorded soundbyte. Up until now, except with the major majors, you couldn’t do what we can now do — make you speak in-game according to whatever it was that you typed in, no matter what it was.
Not only that, but it writes to log, so you can save a record of exactly what happened and what you said in response to it. At the end of each run, you are offered the opportunity to record the trip to log if you wish. You’ll have to re-name the file in order to do that, and you’re prompted to do so as you leave the Orb. Don’t worry about it, just be aware that it’s something that most folks overlook, although it’s been in GODD levels for decades. Just press the button and name the file. It’s that easy.
So where was I when I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh, yes…why did I stop releasing Orbs?
Well, heck, I knew the answer when I started writing this, but now…oh, yes, it all comes back to me now. Dick came up with this incredible thing where the coach stops you in your tracks, immobilizes you until you answer, sort of holds you in an “Odin’s Glance of Freeze” — you know what I mean; the kind of mind-numbing paralysis you get when you’re called up in front of the principal, the dean or the Senate Committee on Lucky People.
Then he or she asks you your opinion on something, and you answer or don’t, as you choose. If you fail to answer, you will often get a sarcastic quip back, asking you basically if you’re asleep or dead at the wheel.
Thing is, you hear yourself answer as well as see your answer in screen-text, in your character’s male or female or other voice!
And that’s not all! There’s more to Dick’s new game engine development…
Moving clouds.
I just gotta wait a few days for these incredible innovations to get the bugs worked out of them, and if I gotta wait, then you gotta wait, too. I know you won’t want me to leave them out just to get the Orbs out a few days earlier, so I’m waiting until the engine is as bug-free as we can make it, so you don’t have to re-download something unnecessarily. Of course, mistakes happen and things get by the most careful inspection, but we try to make sure that it doesn’t happen on our watch.
Naturally, this doesn’t mean I’m taking a holiday; not at all — I’m working about 14-18 hours a day on the Orbs, getting the snarls worked out of them. I’ll publish screenshots and occasional test vids as I go along.
So that’s the story, Mourning Glory. See You At The Top!!!
— gorby