Neophyte Ariadne Finkelstein consulting my longtime friend, Thoth the Ancient Egyptian Oracle, at Cosmo Street — the Orb’s name? “Thoth”, as you’ expect. Wake up, maggott!!!
Continuing the list of orbs ready to roll for your Labor Day Convention & Credential Workshop:
World Peace — Just what you’d think it’d be. An Orb that runs in less than 3 minutes — if you can take the time to run an Active Affirmation for World Peace, it just might happen. Well, “happen” is not the right word. You can’t change the world, but you can change worlds. I’ll list the Oracle Class Orbs that are ready for the workshop participants both here and online:
Apollo — First of all, Apollo the Perfect Youth was the Patron of Delphi, the legendary Delphic Oracle. He is connected with healing and medicine, and was the Patron of Music and Poetry, and songs to him are called “Paeans”. He appears as a young boy with idealized proportions and physical attributes. The amazingly detailed low-poly 3-D model sculpted for you by Uncle Claude will be a favorite, I predict.
Helen of Troy — Everyone knows the story of Paris and Helen of Troy; that she was the singular cause of the siege of Troy is doubtful — there’s always more to the story than survives in history. She is renowned as the subject of an invocation by Dr. Faust in the 17th century play by English playwright Christopher Marlowe, and is she fun to prognosticate with!!!
Isis — The Idealized Mother, she is the Patron of Nature Magic, the guardian of wage-slaves and the great unwashed, yet she is also the Patron of the wealthy and powerful, go figure. Anyhow, she’s here to listen, so unburden yourself at her feet — that’s about what you’ll come up to on her, she’s a big girl.
Inanna — Before there was Isis, there was Inanna. She’s the Sumerian Babe with the Mostest, the Lady of the Sky; her counterpart in Akkadian culture is Ishtar, who gets her very own Orb. Goddess of Love, War, Fertility — anything with a lot of action going on.
Ishtar — See? I promised her she’d get her very own Orb, and here it is. Same deal as her sister Inanna — the usual things important to a culture that has a high infant mortality rate … fertility, sex, warfare, abundant food supply, grain free from insects and rodents, the male population healthy and strong, plenty of fecundity and rain and river water and babies and food and food and food…the usual things you’ll need and want for yourself and your immediate friends and family, if you are an average human of planet earth.
Thoth — Not only is he the second-most popular Egyptian Deity, the first being Isis, Thoth is very important in the Pantheon of Egyptian Gods. He is depicted with an odd-looking long-snouted face, but I assure you, it was a mask he wore when he performed his ritual duties, honest. I knew Thoth very well, and he looked nothing like his pictures, just like another friend, Jesus of Nazereth. He was a carpenter, I did lead plumbing, we often found ourselves working for the same building contractor back in the day.
Funniest thing about being around humans of planet earth, you can tell them the plain honest truth and they’ll find a way to twist it and tweak it into something unrecognizable within the blink of an eye — an eigenblick, as it were, of imagination and distortion.
Jesus — If you met the Real Jesus after 2,000 years of idealization and cultural artistic license (meaning that each cultural group tends to represent folks as they see themselves and Jesus was neither blond nor skinny — he looked like any other Rabbi of the time and that’s what he was considered) … anyhow, if you met the Real Jesus face-to-face in the street, out of religious context, would you recognize Him???
I’ll bet dollars to donuts that you wouldn’t.
You couldn’t, if you think he looks like the Renaissance painters chose to idealize him in so-called “portraits”. He was short, slightly on the stocky side, dark curly hair, had a distinct southern mediterranean accent; he was a Middle-Eastern Jew who lived about 2,000 years ago and traveled around Palestine under the rule of the Roman Empire.
Jesus a Jew? That’s got to be an upsetting idea to someone who thinks the Bible is something that happened just over a hundred years ago somewhere in England and that the King James is the most accurate translation of the book in existence, if they even know that the New Testament was originally written in Aramaic, a Semitic language in common use from the fall of the Neo-Babylonian and Neo-Assyrian cultures; it was the primary language of the town of Nazareth. The translators of the King James were not scholars of the Aramaic language. They were not interested in accuracy, but in finding a Biblical precedent that would allow the crown to divorce or destroy a queen who did not produce a male heir.
Sigh. Ignorance is not bliss; that’s what they want you to think.
I used Jimmi Accardi’s terrific arrangement behind my own vocal on the song “Jesus You’re So Cool”, a song I wrote especially for my friend Cynthia Henderson.
My Teddy Bear — Imaginary friend, horse-doo-doo!!! This Special Giant Living Teddy Bear talks to you and more importantly, listens to you and, who knows, maybe grants prayers???
Santa — You can give this cigar-stogie smoking santa a piece of your mind! He’s here to listen! Ask for anything, he’ll give you Arpege.
Pan — Why did I do Pan? I had the 3-D model around for years. It’s true, but actually I did Pan because I’ll get around to doing all of the best-known ancient deities sooner or later and I did in fact have the Pan model sitting around for quite some time — about ten years now. Time he did a little work around here for his keep. He cost $64 from an incredible model-maker who is no longer around.
Rock of Ages — Yes, a Talking Rock, and why not? It’s entitled. You have to answer ten questions, after which you should know more than you did when you came in, yes? The secret to the Talking Rock is that the slime mold is a ventriloquist.
More about the Orbs on my workbench next bloggie.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby