Limping Into Port

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Cover of the joke file book that’s on its way to the printers.

I just made this cover, as requested, for my long-overdue Joke File Book. We’re sending it in to IPG, and they should have a proof for us within a week or so, after which we’ll be shipping them out to folks who intend to attend my Comedy Workshop series, celebrating the start of WW III.

I’ve been taking a pollen-break, and haven’t made it out of bed until tonight, and that’s only for a short time.

I’m working on books, workshops and ancient materials exhibits, all of which I’m doing mostly in my head, but I have managed to put together a strong presentation of the Objects of Daily Use that were found by Pendlebury in 1935 and 1936 excavations in the City of Akenaten, which is today called “Amarna”.

I’ve prepared hundreds of flips for your use, mostly in the form of black-line mandalas that you can color in, like a miniature coloring book.

You can spend anywhere from a few seconds to a few hours making each one — it’s entirely up to you how you dedicate time to it, but the time DURING the coloration is strictly limited to only thoughts about the mandala, nothing else.

Particularly don’t think of a blue hippopotamus when coloring-in the black & White image I’ve prepared for you to work in.

That’s why I call it the “Blue Hippo Exercise”. Don’t think of a hippopotamus while painting the thing; that’s the whole deal.

I have plans to use this in workshops, not entirely sure how I’ll get them to you in time for a workshop, but I’m working on that issue as we speak.

Well, if I don’t send this off, it might sit here for another week, waiting for me to grab the chance to keep you informed on the goings-on here, so that’s it for the moment, Blessings to you, pass the Blessings on is the secret.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Zen Rock Painting

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Jewel & Gorby setting up gallery for rock painting & auctions.

Yes, Zen Rock Painting is here, and it’s incredible! You will have the best craft experience of your life, absolutely guaranteed or double your money back — the class is free, the materials are free and the table space is free. It costs us about a dollar to give away one painted rock, and the result is well worth it.

What happens when someone is confronted with “Paint a Rock”?

It varies, depending on the internal and external dialogues and conditions. In short, the very prospect of the simple act of painting a rock is seen as an enormous ego-threat.

“What if my painted rock is ugly?” they worry. All the worst aspects of internalizing and projection come out at this moment.

If there’s a conflict between a couple or between adult and child, it will come out now. This is the time when all neuroses get trotted out to block the possible fun experience.

They are unworthy, and they know it — they’ve been taught all their lives that not only are they not artists, but that art is crap, and that all artists are degenerate drains on society.

I’m here to put that lie to the test. Continue reading →

The Art of Voluntary Identification

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My Level 47 Druid hasn’t died once, and has killed Baal twice.

If my TSCC Security Clearance hasn’t already long-expired, as I expect it has, since 1968 — the last time I used it — as a former member of the Intelligence Community, PFC Clerk-Typist Trainee 006″ with the AIS/ASA, following which I served with the “Arlington Witches Remote Viewers Group” under the title “Div44”, I hereby Self-Revoke any shred or vestige of my own Security Clearance, whatever it may be, and like I said, it’s probably already long gone, especially after my “sheep-dipping” in 1964 to allow me to operate as “Control” for Billy Byars and Billy Byars Jr., both close friends of President Johnson.

Please note that my MOS — Military Occupational Specialty — was only one digit away from James Bond’s “007” designation. My sanction was slightly more limited than was the notorious but completely invented novel-character, the British Secret Agent “James Bond” who was licensed to kill, I was also licensed, but only to seriously offend.

Hence, my standup career after the Army.

Hey, anyone with good taste and values will want to leave the Untied Snakes of Arnica real soon, especially if it turns into a military dictatorship, which is now very possible, so much so that even those in denial can see clearly what lies up ahead, if Congress fails to do its job, to limit the power of the President, so the President can never become a King — that was the whole point of the Constitution & Bill of Rights.

Trump is Power-Mad, and he’s in fact angling himself to be in position to fire people by taking away their security clearances, which means they can’t work at their jobs.

He’s also just on the verge of declaring a military emergency, so he can direct his troops to shoot down innocent civilians, because that’s what Strong Rulers do!

With a Power-Hungry would-be dictator in control of your life at the moment, It’s totally understandable that you’d want to escape, but what if your financial status says “no”? What can you do with little money and little hope?

If you’ve got medical issues, it’s even less likely that you’ll grab up a Bugout Pack and escape into the high country, and if you’re just barely stable and unable to withstand a change in environment, you’re just plain out of luck.

So maybe you CAN’T load up the car and drive off into the sunset, but never fear — you CAN escape into sanity by learning how to dive headfirst into a fabulous BETA-BRAIN WAVE BLOCKER called “Diablo 2”, and STAY THERE forever, or for at least a couple of hours.

Wow, can you imagine getting two SOLID hours of PAIN RELIEF from Trumpian howling, raging and torment, without ONCE thinking about TRUMP???

How you you spell “Relief”??? Not T-R-U-M-P, that’s for sure, and about R-E-S-P-E-C-T he knows nothing. Get outta town! Take yourself off the planet! Get away for the whole week, never mind the weekend!

Played in the ordinary way, DIABLO 2 is just a game, just a very ordinary videogame of the vintage variety, a definite legacy game that belongs properly in the 80s and 90s, but when activated with Objective Gameplay, it comes alive and becomes a transformational experience as well as an escape from the insanity that is Amerika today. Continue reading →

Beta Blocker Meditations

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Meditation can be achieved in a variety of interesting ways.

Diablo 2 is not the only way to set up a Beta-Brain Block. Just in arm’s reach, you’ll find a variety of other “weapons” in the War Against Sleep, notably meditation, but there’s a catch — which meditation are we talking about?

Just like aliens, there’s not just one single breed, no single source of origin, panspermia — the idea that ALL life originated in one single spot and spread throughout the galaxy.

Sure, it could happen in some galaxies, but not all, but forget about galaxies for the moment — let’s talk about YOU.

Meditation has many faces, many forms, but let’s just take a glance at one of them for the moment — Relaxation Meditation, meditation that you do in order to rest and relax without going napping.

In general, we don’t associate snoring with meditation.

Continue reading →

Run For The Hills!!!

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Resist the impulse to join in the violence. Remain calm, steady and peaceful.

Run for the hills? Not quite yet. We have yet to hear from the majority, which up until now has been notably silent, docile and willing to take it on the chin, but apparently, that’s about to change, with Resistance Demonstrations all over the United Snakes, and all over the planet, decrying the madness of Trump.

In my world, “Trump” is a scary and funny rubber kids’ Halloween mask, and part of the common phrase, “Trump You!”. Frankly, I don’t care, do you???

Like I’ve said billions of times before, that’s just local politics, in which off-worlders never get involved, both by ethical law and by personal experience.

So while the Athenians and the Spartans are battling it out, grunting and sweating in the baking sun and sand of the senate floor, let’s make a buck.

Sounds cynical? No, what sounds, and is, cynical is the bull-puckey coming from the Snake Party writhing around on the floor of the Senate, and the robotic applause for Trump that comes from the stink-hole of the House of Reprehensibles.

I used to think of Congress as “not a bad sort, not actually criminal”, but now I’m not so sure. The thing is, they’re now yanking us poor and minority folks around for their amusement and personal gain, when they steal our social security funds and our retirement funds and our medical benefits all for the sake of their personal enrichment, and then trample on all our American values and freedoms and then deny non-white Christians their vote, and destroy the democracy from the top down, heck-darn, that’s when I say “enough is enough”, whatever that means.

I can’t and won’t be driven into violent action, yet I’m obligated to protect my family and home, am I not?

But I have no voice, no power, no bully-pulpit and no money with which to fight, and I’m unable and unwilling to use a weapon of any kind, with the singular exception of comedy — so what can I really do to protect myself and my family from Trump and his Minions?

What can I do to stop the constant chatter of “Trump, Trump, Trump”??? Continue reading →

Cloud of Unknowing

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This Graphic Tee is only $75. You save $100!

Trump is dedicated to his own face. He has to be in the front of the news, just as he handles and maneuvers celebrities in crowds to demonstrate that he’s in charge, he’s directing everyone and everything, and everything revolves around him.

One thing you’ll note that is an outstanding feature: instead of creating diversions, like a politician such as super-sleazy McConnell would do, changing the subject, offering some glittering prize as long as it’s not on-subject, he goes nuts.

He is, in fact, exactly what he projected onto his victims — a nut-job. Actually, Trump is a nut-job and a half.

I like to be exact.

As Avatar of the Western Realm — which is a lousy job, but everybody’s gotta work for a living — I can’t, of course, directly interfere, nor would I intervene in something so petty as a local war or political upheaval.

Right. I can’t interfere. But I CAN suggest, and occasionally, I can point. This is one of those “I can point, but you’ll have to actually L@@K” moments. Continue reading →

Transcending Trump

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Sumerian “Magic Eyes” Maternity Top Only $51.99!!!

I have in my “possession” — you should pardon the expression — a stack of 450 year old drawings that I did a while back. They were stashed away in a box that I knew would get to me when I arrived in this century, and sure enough, it did. I have the box in hand, and much thanks to the person who found it for me and sent it to me.

I’ve had the images scanned in, and I’ve massaged EACH of the images into a set of about a dozen different sizes and shapes, that fit into various items in the CAFEPRESS pantheon of wondrous goodies on my various shops on said website.

It’s been over five hours since I started a page — the first of many Dutch landscape pages — with ONE image, which requires 12 variants of the same image in order to properly fit all the items offered by CAFEPRESS, all of which are made by different manufacturers with totally differing standards of measure.

I don’t always perform all the operations to make an image fit exactly. If it looks wrong, and you really want it, I’ll try to fix it, but that’s an hour or more out of my busy schedule, and I have a LOT of Healing Operations to conduct every day. Continue reading →

I Have No Voice

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Wouldn’t you love to work in an ancient Egyptian temple of your very own?

I have no voice. It doesn’t bother me, but it’s quite noticeable. when I speak, write, sing, act, paint, draw, sketch or sculpt, there’s no measurable impact on anything or anyone. I’m not a tweeter, but if I were a tweeter, I could literally tweet my ass off, but nobody will read it, and that’s just fine by me, or it was fine, until Donald Trump’s name became a household word, like “slopbucket”.

Whatever it looks like, however it seems to you today, Donald Trump is NOT an obstruction on the Path to Liberation, not if you know the secret.

What is the secret?

I’ll tell you right off. Live the good life. Don’t allow yourself to become distracted. Relax, stay calm, it will all work out just the way it should.

The universe is a sim. There’s a script. If you keep that in mind, you won’t fall off the horsie. Donald Trump is not alive — there’s nobody inside that thing, behind those cold, icy eyes.

He plays his “overwhelm” game and seems to be winning. His friends in Congress have their own nasty games and merely use him to gain advantages on their own ground.

You don’t need to know any of that. Just remember that ALL POLITICIANS ARE CROOKS and that ALL GOVERNMENT PEOPLE ARE MEAN AND NASTY,  and that ALL POLITICIANS AND MEDIA PEOPLE LIE ALL THE TIME, and you won’t be knocked out of your socks the next time you find yourself shoved into the ditch at the side of the road.

When Donald Trump tweets, billions of people are affected by every careless word. The difference between me and Donald Trump is our choice of weapons. I selected “voice” and “guitar” and he chose “nuclear holocaust” and “gas chamber”.

Trump is a hero among his worshipers and followers. They like Strongmen and Dictators who will step in, clean up the mess, restore them to their former glory, and give them personal favors and benefits, and that’s Donald Trump in a nutshell, at least on paper.

He knows he doesn’t have to actually KEEP his promises, just make them and blast right along claiming “victory” at every punchdown. Just keep insisting you won, and eventually that becomes the truth, at least to the general public. They have no memory and no discernment whatever.

As a matter of fact, they don’t really care about the details, just what’s in it for them.

Each faction of politics, news media and science has its own direction to pull the chain, and the general effect is one of chaos and mayhem, exactly what Putin and Trump both had in mind.

If the U.S. government can be shut down permanently, Trump can rule, and that is “Plan A”. Plan B involves an actual invasion of the homeland by Russian airborne troops, and that’s already in the works, as soon as the defense department can be unraveled.

How do I know all this? Continue reading →