Everybody says they want non-violent video games, but does anybody actually BUY them??? Here are the five best non-violent video games as of August, 2020:

Take a ride through the one-minute Karma Wash and see how great it feels when you’re scrubbed clean of accumulated karmic barnacles and surface crud. You’ll learn osmotically how to take the Cleansing and Dissolving Radiations.

Be prepared for the Afterlife by getting used to it now.

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What will they say about you when you’re dead?

Have you ever wondered what they’d say when you’re laid out in the funeral home chapel? Well, here’s your chance to really learn about yourself, when your friends and neighbors take the opportunity to roast you.

Of course, at the pre-need “End of Life Celebration”, you actually get to respond to your critics with scorchers and zingers and put-down shticks of your own — something you’ll find almost impossible at your actual funeral.

By the way, I have a firm policy — you don’t go to my funeral, I certainly won’t go to yours — and you shouldn’t ask for a big fancy funeral. All you want is a few close friends to gather at the grave site and bring you back to life.

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