Collectible Chocolate Tins

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Front section with handpainted angel, Double Chocolate

Sure, it’s outdated by a few months, but it’s still drinkable, but wait — it’s a collectible, so you wouldn’t want to drink this any more than you’d drink an ultra-rare million-dollar wine, although there are some very insecure billionaires who WOULD drink a million-dollar bottle, even if it tasted like vinegar, and in general, as rare wines go, it would.

Wine improves with age, and then doesn’t. Chocolate improves with age and is just as good a hundred years from now as it is right now today, as is, but like I said, it’s a collectible, and that means “leave it alone”. Continue reading →

Stuff For Sale

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Here’s a short list of some stuff you could make, search & find or prepare for sale:

  • Painted Rocks — cheap, inexpensive to make, doesn’t cost very much, and there’s not a whole lot of money involved, although with the right artwork, you can get up to $50 for a painted rock with no problem, and more if it’s in a gallery.
  • Incenses — Either a blend of incenses or a group of your favorites, or you could try making incense yourself, although I predict that sooner or later, you’ll end up buying and reselling, instead of spending all your marketing time making incense.
  • Chocolates — Never mind about them expensive truffles, although we do offer them in winter and spring shipping weather. We’ve got the ideal — a powerful 72% pure chocolate that is 100% wholesome and 100% delicious, for the price of only 25 cents per package, wholesale. You sell them for $1 apiece, you make 75 cents on every transaction, and boy, does it add up fast at this price! On the right streetcorner, you could do quite well. Forget the huge expensive chocolate samplers — too much money, too much chocolate, not good chocolate but commercial grade crap. Stay with the program, stay on target, sell these at 2 for a dollar and you’ll still make money and you’ll help the community stay in the flow!
  • Earrings — These are of the Czech wood variety — light, easy to make, cheap to make or wear, and they look absolutely great! The colors are wild and astonishing, and everyone will notice these earrings! They sell RETAIL for only $10, and I show you how to make them fast & easily.
  • Meteorites — Not very easy to obtain small ones, might be too much trouble, but these are always going to create excitement, so maybe you can work out a way to sell them at a dollar. Your cost would be around 50 cents for the stone & package.
  • Lucky Pennies — These are easy to find and do really well as a giveaway, with some purchase, however small it may be. I like to give them to anyone who shows any interest in the shop whatsoever — it’s a great way to get your business card into someone’s hands without pushing the card in their face.
  • Lucky Rodneys — These are a bit harder to sell — they retail at $10 for the capsule variety, which is what sells the best. These you don’t give away — you can’t afford it. These are meant to sell. FREE is the Lucky Penny, if you wish, and not the variety called “Double Lucky Penny”, which is always in a capsule. Figure that the capsule plus the package costs you about a dollar, so get some cash for this item. The plain old “Lucky Penny” is just a penny and the package, so the cost out of pocket is about 10 cents, including the penny. Don’t forget that you’re giving the customer cash as a gift just for coming into your shop. Reward their interest and you will be happy.
  • Zombie Family Hot Popcorn Topping — Our Zombie Family Popcorn Topping is what you will be offering to customers. The hot freshly popped popcorn is in half-filled paper bags inside the professional concessionaire popcorn machine. You offer a small Dixie cup filled with a bit of popcorn and a small dose of super spicy hot popcorn topping as a sample. If they like it, they can buy a bagful of hot popcorn in the paper bag. You simply tap in the hot topping on the halfway filled popcorn, then fill the bag the rest of the way and shake two or three more times on the topmost layer, and hand to the customer. The Zombie Family Authentic Cajun Hot Popcorn Topping you will sell by the table-quality shaker, at only $9.99 apiece, and you get a LOT for your money!!!
  • Zombie Family Hot Sauces, BBQ Sauces & Steak Sauces — These are amazing and quite delicious. They taste it, they buy it. Have samples ready for your crowd and roll them bottles out!
  • Handpainted Chess Sets — I do these both as a single-face and as a double-faced piece set. The singles are mounted face-up, and the doubles are mounted on a wooden base. They are painted both sides so both players can see which piece is which. The symbols are VERY easy for any chess player — they are the standard symbols, but I also make other sets with very different designs, keeping in mind that chess is a military style board game. The “castles” are actually “towers”, rolling towers for scaling walls, and the horse represents an entire mounted cavalry unit, while the bishops are the elite troops, the Queen is actually her regiment, and the same with the King. The pawns are just the cannon-fodder they always were, to be driven forward by the lances of the Royal Guard.
  • Backgammon & Checkers Sets — These I make with perfectly round or nearly round stones, which are uncommon, therefore the sets are not plentiful. Allow a couple of weeks for me to find the rocks before I can even get around to painting them.

By the way, all my rock paintings are signed, with the singular exception of the Flying Heart Stones, which are offered at 50 cents apiece, if you plan to resell them — the usual price will be a dollar each, but some folks will give you more, if you look sufficiently pathetic. Joke.

Those are just a few examples of the stuff you could be helping to flow out into the life of humans of planet earth.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

RED HOT Popcorn!

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Image result for carnival king 8 oz. popcorn machine

Here’s the machine we got for the shop! It’s a Carnival King 8 oz. popcorn popper, which is plenty enough production for the crowd we get, even in a street fair, which is rare enough that we can rent if we need something bigger and faster, which we presently don’t.

The idea is not so much “to sell popcorn” — although that might be a very good business thriving business in itself, just plain old popcorn, but we have an angle that makes our popcorn very different from all other popcorns.

It’s the spice.

Anyone who knows anything about Arrakis knows that spice is always at the bottom of any deal.

Popcorn is exempt from some local and regional and all federal food-handler licensing. Ben Franklin’s arts & crafts store has a big commercial popcorn machine in the front of the shop — they give away bags of popcorn to incoming customers, being careful to avoid serving them to those inevitable folks who show up every day for a bag of popcorn and quickly run out the door when they’ve got it.

You can’t afford to give away stuff forever, and at some point, you’ll learn to charge for it so you can keep doing your public service, thus fulfilling your Bodhisattva Vow, the one you took in a previous lifetime.

It’s time to settle that debt. Popcorn is a good beginning, spicy popcorn doubly so.

We sell our Zombie Family Red Hot Popcorn Spice in a special spice bottle, and we offer the spice in sample form, by sprinkling a generous amount of our incredibly hot “salsa caliente” on the hot salted or unsalted popcorn as it’s bagged up, and offer a fair special to take home, two bottles for only $25, which is a LOT of popcorn spice that could outlast the planet.

So how to turn this into a street hustle? Continue reading →

Zombie Family Picnic Products

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Here’s a great box of chocolates for your zombie family picnics and home style barbecues, not to mention all those times Aunt Clara comes over to visit. A box of these chocolates will discourage the squeamish, leaving more goodies for you!!!

Presumably, you’re not squeamish. Let’s continue our browsing — each image will take you directly to the purchase page — just note the items you want and let us order them for you at wholesale prices — no need to pay the list price on zazzle — you order from us, we order from them, they ship to you, you put on table, make plenty sales!!! Continue reading →

Let Business Ring!

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Forget Freedom, forget the First Amendment, forget the Free Press, as long as business is good, who cares what they do in Washington?

If that’s not your attitude, you need to change it. You’ll never change the greed that feeds that raging torment of lost souls in Congress — the White House doesn’t count, because it’s Satan’s Shrine, the SOURCE of all the raging torment.

Gosh, are you wondering why you should bother?

Frankly, that’s been my position right from the start. After having spent your life blasting away at that 30 year mortgage — if banks will even LEND to you — and putting aside some money for your retirement to add to the social security checks, which don’t cover much of anything, guess what?

Social Security is closing down.

Oh, well, it wasn’t that much, anyway — all it did was keep some bread on the table, and we don’t need bread … we’ve got tons and tons of cake mix.

People — I’m using the term loosely — in Congress barely know you’re alive. To them, you’re just a vote or money, meaning a lobbyist with cash money in your pocket.

This is the time to unload and get ready to rock and roll, SELL ANYTHING THAT ISN’T NAILED DOWN, to prevent “Rear-View Mirror Syndrome” when you look back at the huge pile of stuff you had to leave behind when you became an American Immigrant.

With that in mind, I’ve put up six totally beautiful Grabhorn Press 1943 reissues of the Gauguin woodcuts — I don’t have the complete portfolio, but if I did, it would go up at Sotheby’s, not on eBay, believe me, and you wouldn’t believe what an intact one of those will bring. Continue reading →

Zombie Family Picnic Table

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Join the Zombie Family at the Picnic Table, order your Zombie Booth today!

Won’t you join me on a special mission to introduce “Zombie Family” products into the daily life of humans of Planet Earth?

I have given over several of my own family recipes to friends of mine who are in the food prep business, and they have given me back factory-sealed packaged products of our very own making, using their food handling license to do this.

It costs very little to join the zombie family — you can get a booth from $100 with full wholesale privileges! Continue reading →

Take America Back!

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Goddess Power — Take America Back!!! Use your spellcrafting, not your pitchfork!
Just in case you think there’s a chance that the United States will pull out of this slump, that people will rise up and take back their country, get used to disappointment. There is no courage in Washington, which is what made it into such a dump that an idiot could get elected to “fix” it, which can’t happen as long as assholes are in charge, and they are.
Don’t sucker into the marches. Don’t take up pitchfork & torch. No need to take to the streets — those who are hip to spell-casting know a better way, a quieter way, an invisible and subtle way.

Trump is thoroughly committed to the course of nuclear war. He lives on the Dark Side all the time. Even though he’s the President and has access to any information he wants, he still believes that the astronauts live in the NBC studios in Burbank, that the moon is hollow, and the Earth is flat.

He is in fact a “Flat-Earther”, which rhymes with “Birther”.

Nuclear weapons are so tempting. Those nukes are toys that Trump — who lives at the mental and emotional age of about three —  just can’t resist playing with, and NOKO is an easy target — just some tiny country near China, no problem, nuke them out of existence, and they won’t bother anybody again.

Of course this only makes sense to an under-achieving loser like Trump. Continue reading →

Greatest Kid’s Gift Ever

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No matter how strapping and healthy I might be at age 76, and the issue is still in doubt, but getting better every day — I’m a short-timer on Planet Earth, and I’m not making any long-term personal plans that might involve the 22nd century.

I guess you’d place me in the “Oh, go f*ck yourself” stage of life, meaning that there’s nothing they can do to this country or to the national standards of decency and honesty that has any long-term effect on me, but Hell, that’s been true since the day I took rebirth, and it’s not likely to ever change, not now, not ever.

As for building personal wealth, I’ve had a running battle with government for years on the subject of Voluntary Poverty as a way of life that is accepted, but have not had much luck on that front.

I have no retirement fund, and no plans to build one. No medical insurance, if they take away medicare. I’m shit out of luck on that front. My only concern is that I’m not a burden, and I’ve done what I had to in order for that to happen. I’ve made sure that my personal voluntary poverty will at least do no harm.

Personal Poverty is one thing, cultural poverty quite another, and in this country, culture has gone rapidly downhill toward the days of Ancient Greece, Rome and Sumer, not to mention Babylon. Continue reading →

YOU WIN!!!

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Not only can you buy a 3 oz. tin of drink mix on my wholesale pages on zazzle, but you can also buy the 7 ounce tin, which I wasn’t going to introduce at all, but here it is, delivered by zazzle! The price of the 3 ounce tin is $6.40 apiece, and the large 7 ounce tin is only $8.40!

Hey, a major breakthrough came through last night, thanks to my friend, Marketing Angel Archangel Zadkiel, who suggested this rather novel and eminently workable scheme, in which I list hundreds of buyable wholesale-priced — that’s $6.40 a tin — products, at the base wholesale price, disregarding the fact that I get a lousy quarter for each item in the bargain, but before you sigh out of pity, let me explain:

The Wholesale Hustle

Okay what the hell is a wholesale hustle? I really don’t know, but it had such a mellifluous ring to it that I could hardly refuse to duly exercise my digits accordingly to bring this concept to type. In short, the title is itself a hustle to get you interested, and me whipped into a frenzy of explanation to help you over the few higher hurdles of POD Marketing.

First of all, I’ve spent the past several days feverishly — some would say haphazardly, but they’d be wrong — working out the math on the wholesale end of the drink powders, which is all I’m going for, at the moment.

What I wanted to do was make hundreds or thousands of package and label designs, and yet have the luxury of not having to actually order the items and store them, let alone pay for them.

I developed a line of interesting drink packages both iced and hot, and made hundreds of designs, all of which work, but you can’t see, so you can’t order them, and I can’t make that happen without a great deal of personal effort and a lot of time that I really can’t spare. Continue reading →

My Chocolate License is HERE!!!

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I can now actually ship to just about anywhere a few items from our Haute Cuisine Shop. If I calculate correctly, I’ll be able to produce some amazingly collectible and hilarious food items, plus some dainties that really do measure up to the gourmet standard.

Jack of London Chocoholic Treats, 2 lbs. $59.30 — do not eat in one sitting!

Continue reading →