THEY Are Here. Are You Ready For THEM???

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All Trail Mixes come in this 11″ long crystal-clear food-safe tube.

If you’re like most humans of Planet Earth, you’ll be waiting currently for news that a UFO has landed on the lawn of the White House, and you’d be right, you don’t have long to wait. The past 100 years has brought us from the Wright Brothers and Alexander Graham Bell and Watt and Edison all the way to outer space and beyond.

There are so many exo-planets outside the Solar System in the star catalog that you’d be hooted off the stage if you insisted that the Earth was the center of the Universe and that God would NEVER make another planet around any other star, and those are NOT suns, nothing LIKE suns — they’re little sparkly lights that Mr. God has placed around the night sky.

They spent trillions of dollars to find the God Particle, and now that they’ve found it, they’re trying to reverse time and create life in the laboratory. Sure, I know it’s already been done back in the 1950s, but what I mean is an actual living body, and soon someone will do it.

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That’s how the cookies crumble. Try my Incredible Cookie Crumble Topping. You won’t be disappointed!

DNA is not yet unlocked, but it’s well on the way to the code being cracked by some clever research team, probably in France or Switzerland, if I remember my 21st Century Earth History. Can you remember the history YOU learned in High School?

Of course, my High School wasn’t all that high — it was only Sixth Aeon, but if you’re trapped inside a Human Biped on Planet Earth, it might seem a long way up from there.

Speaking of High Life and the God Particle — that’s the name of the band — I’ve got some news on the Food Front. Here is a very small, very incomplete list of some of the things I’m making today in the Cloister Kitchen, and don’t ask me the ingredients at this time, because they haven’t yet settled down. I’m making changes as I go, based on balance, and have added a couple of herbs to my soup mix.

I will be making ready-to-cook soup mixes, with all the ingredients needed, or where you might be asked to add something that wouldn’t be good to dry or toast. All my granolas require toasting, which is energy, which costs time and money — when we’re making this stuff, we can’t make our own food, so it has to happen in-between the meal prep.

  1. DESERT ROSE CURRY-CASHEW TRAIL MIX — $9.95
  2. HARVEST MOON WILD GINGER TRAIL MIX — $9.95
  3. WOMEN’S RESTORATIVE TRAIL MIX — $9.95
  4. AUTUMN LEAVES CRANBERRY TRAIL MIX — $9.95
  5. SUMMER STROLL TRAIL MIX — $9.95
  6. GORBY’S GRAB-BAG TRAIL MIX — $9.95

All the above items are packaged in my special 11″ long food-safe diamond hard-shell TRAIL PACK, so they can be eaten without touching them with the hands. This is a great feature if you’re out there shoveling fertilizer onto the garden bed and you suddenly crave a High Vibration Snack. Sure, it costs a little more to have that great package. So what? Are you still taking local currency and trade goods seriously?

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Energy Balls make a delicious and wondrously magical moment in your daily strivings toward the One.

There are a lot of star systems out there, and most of them have Earth-type planets. Binary stars are the most common, and they easily support life on rocky inner planets with stable orbits around both stars. Happens all the time, and most of those civilizations have gone way beyond downloadable pizza and interplanetary space travel.

I’m in the process of developing a few more High Vibration Trail Mixes, but not too many to wade through on a shopping spree on our website. Here are a few of the granola mixes I’ve put together over the years. They are all available for shipping right now, as are the items listed above. They come in a wide very swanky, very expensive but great-looking pillow box, which shows you clearly what you get inside.

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This is an example of one of my trail mixes in the Granola Style Crystal Pack.
  1.  LAVENDER LOVELY GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  2. CRANBERRY SURPRISE GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  3. GORBY’S INCREDIBLE SALTED MAPLE GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  4. CHEN-RIG TEMPLE GOJI GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  5. ASHRAM FARM-FRESH GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  6. JEWEL’S WILD BLUEBERRY FLAX GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  7. PANNIY’S PISTACHIO MULBERRY GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  8. BLACK HOLE GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  9. GORBY’S RANDOM CHOICE GRANOLA MIX — $9.95
  10. GRANOLA KITCHEN CLEANUP GRANOLA MIX — $9.95

That’s more than plenty to get started, and it will settle down to a few that everybody likes and some that a few folks like, and some that nobody ever buys, following the 1/3rd Law as all things must. As long as mass is bound to energy and vice-versa, there will always be a need for granola.

Here is a very small list of some of the treats I’ve prepared for shipping on Monday. It’s still not too late to order these items listed on this blog — I’ll be baking later today as well. My friend Dusty makes saddle blankets and corn chips, real blue corn, at LEAST 95% organic, and unprovably 100% organic, if you believe him, and if you knew how seriously he takes the growing and preparation of sacred corn, you would.

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Here they are — Dusty’s Incredible Magical Blue Corn Chips, in the small $2.95 snack pouch.
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — in Single Serving Snack Pouch — $1.95
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — in a Holiday Gift Basket — $49.95
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — BIG FAMILY BAG  — $19.95
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — BIGGER BAG — $29.95
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — BIGGEST BADDEST BAG EVER– $149.95
  • DUSTY’S MAGICAL BLUE CORN CHIPS — ASHRAM TRUCKLOAD — $350,000.00

If you eat the whole Biggest Baddest Bag-ful in one single sitting, you may need a stomach pump. If you do find yourself sitting in front of a huge empty bowl that moments ago was filled with Dusty’s Magical Blue Corn Chips, you may need to find a specially trained therapist who can help you with self-control in the face of unbeatable odds.

I can easily see myself doing the same damn thing, and having to dance it off for days and days or spend the next 72 hours in the local spa treadmilling the extra pounds off an ounce at a time, but these particular chips won’t put extra weight on you, if you can resist the inevitable temptation to eat more than one.

Dusty’s Magical Blue Corn Chips are, by his own admission, horribly seductive, addictive and did I mention that the more you eat, the more you crave??? Luckily, they’re so expensive that you won’t be able to afford to put on twenty pounds with Dusty’s Magical Blue Corn Chips.

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You can order my Baked Chicken Poultry Seasoning Hand-Mixed Herbal Condiments for only $9.95.

I’ll bet you a dollar that you can’t eat just one and leave the rest of those BLUE CORN CHIPS just lying about, totally uneaten.

Sure, you might manage to push yourself away at first, but the rich aromatic taste will slowly penetrate through the wall of defense, no matter how thick it might be.

Slowly, slowly — and it could be weeks or months — you will at some point, exhausted in the silent internal struggle, at last collapse and give in to the craving, the craving, the horribly ever-increasing craving for those yummy LIGHTLY salted blue corn chips, and you will find yourself fully in its spell.

All the other corn chips have too much salt, don’t you agree? Dusty uses just enough salt to satisfy, not enough to pucker your mouth and make you swag a soft drink. The craving will drill into your brain, your nervous system, your funny bone.

Slowly, relentlessly, you will rise up from your chair as if from the dead. You will turn off the tv screen and you will proceed helplessly, fully in the grip of the compulsion, to your kitchen.

You will then rummage about therein, and locate the precious bag or box or heap of Dusty’s Magical Blue Corn Chips, and you’ll be rolling in the gutter in no time flat.

Granola Package looks inviting, and you will love the taste sensation!
Granola Package looks inviting, and you will love the taste sensation!

I might lose money on the chips, but I make it back more than double on the therapy for Dusty’s Blue Corn Chip addicts who come to me for a cure. To whom else can they come? I’m the source of their organic junk food. Keep comin’ back for more. Get more money to feed your corn-chip habit.

If you’re like most Dusty’s Blue-Corn Chip Heads, you’ll find yourself waking up in the morning craving corn chips instead of granola. This is the first sign of a serious smash-up, and you need to seek professional help immediately, and your local grocer won’t have them.

It’s not just the blue corn chips that can get you. Here, below, is a list of seriously addictive daytime and nighttime treats, all organic, all created with Ashram Healing & Life Blessings.

  1. CAROB SPRULINA MINI-MUNCHY BARS — $9.95
  2. HONEY PISTACHIO MINI-MUNCHY BARS — $9.95
  3. CHEN-RIG’S GOJI BERRY & RAW CACAO MUNCHY BARS — $9.95
  4. MANGO & COCONUT MINI-MUNCHY BARS — $9.95
  5. PAPAYA MINI-MUNCHY BARS — $9.95
  6. MAN FROM TAURED FIG BARS — $19.95
  7. OATMEAL WALNUT RAISIN COOKIES — 2 FOR $9.95

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It’s not just one bar, but a bunch o’ small mini-munchy bars in a package. You can have a small treat, a short bar, as it were.

I know you will love these, and they not only satisfy the organic food craving and quiet down the growling in the belly, they give you a great short-term energy boost that will take you into the Walking State, if not the Waking State, in no time flat.

  • TAO-CHING ENERGY BALLS — $9.95
  • T’AI CH’I ENERGY BALLS — $9.95
  • GOJI BERRY ENERGY BALLS — $9.95

I did mention on the air that I had no plans to make the usual “English Breakfast” teas, but what I should have said and didn’t was that I can make the same type of tea, but wholly organic, and that’s what I’ve done.

  • ORGANIC BRITISH BREAKFAST TEA — $9.95
  • ORGANIC LOBSANG-ZHOUTANG TEA — $9.95
  • ORGANIC SMOKY CARAVANSERAI TEA — $9.95
  • ORGANIC ALBION BUBBLY-BOIL TEA — $9.95

And here is a short list of some coffees I have available to ship right now:

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Energy Cookie surrounded by Man from Taured Fig Bars. The fig bars are INTENSE and unusual.
  • GORBY’S FABULOUS ARMENIAN COFFEE — $19.95
  • SHEIK YERBOOTY’S FAMOUS MIDDLE EASTERN COFFEE — $24.95
  • CLOISTER KITCHEN CAFE BLEND — $19.95

With coffee and chocolate prices at an all-time high, I’m not sure the average family can afford it anymore, but then I look at the lineup every morning at our local Starbucks, for the lousy commercial blends they peddle in their drive-through windows, and I wonder.

What if we had this food available to the public? Would they care about quality? Have they ever? Will they ever?

So it’s probably doomed to a small-town shop somewhere in the high mountains, above the clouds.

There are many more foodstuffs available, but I’ll have to take the time to list them as I’m able to afford the break-time from all the food, incenses, oils — we’re back in the essential fragrance oil business as of last week — and candle orders, I’m slightly disoriented on what comes next, and I just wade through it hour by hour.

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Herbs, Teas and Condiments are available from the Cloister Kitchen as of right now. If you don’t see what you want, ask for it, and we’ll see if we can accommodate your requests.

Could I use help?

The real help I could use is the deed to a small RV campground somewhere nearby. If someone came up with $350,000, we could be open for healing ceremonies a couple of days after the close of escrow.

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This is a blend of our garden herbs to make a wonderful Magical Blend Tea. It’s not ready for prime-time yet — I have to make experiments first.

What I’m hoping is that we can make and ship out food stuffs worldwide, from a full commercial kitchen with a well-trained staff of Ashram workers. This would provide a very good contact with our folks all over the planet and beyond — yes, we deliver to all Federation Planets; ask about our UFO Drone Delivery Plan.

The hand-written gold labels will soon include the Ashram info. Right now, I’m using what I’ve got on hand from the Perfumery stock room for labels. The whole point is to identify the product, not to sell it to a passing customer, so branding doesn’t matter at this point, but when we sell to the public, it will.

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These would sell so easily, on the street, in a subway, at a library or park, in your Home Town.

I’d like YOU to get on board this potentially ground-breaking cottage-industry project, right now, today. We need a COMMERCIAL KITCHEN, even a rental would do for the moment. I need help to make this world-wide Peace & Healing Project work!!!

You can call Yanesh to tell her what YOU can do to help us make this worldwide level of real magic happen today!

See You At The Top!!!

gorby