“Shape-Shifter Time-Tripper” is the sound track for my latest and wildest invention, THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS, and it really does. Really it does. Honest.
It’s real. It really works. I’m not kidding. You can test it. It really works. I offer proof.
Start there, and go on from that premise, that it really works. It’s not even a question of HOW it works. The science is already there. The scientists just looked for it in the wrong place.
At the end of this treatise, I promise to explain in detail how it works and why it works, and I’ll give you the science behind the science to prove my thesis.
I have constructed a Time Machine, THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS.
It’s virtual, yet it works in the actual. How? Again, the science has always been there, but it’s been by and large overlooked, at least by scientists.
Get a Glimpse of the Future!
I have rediscovered this ancient truth, and I am more than willing to share it at a mere $3.99 a pop, just in time for the holidays — you can give our goddgame Orbs as gifts this year. Everybody’s got a computer nowadays.
It’s designed to run on PC in Windows 10, and you can download THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS very very soon on godddgames.com — just as soon as we can release it.
I want it out in time for Christmas, so you can use it on New Year’s Eve to see ahead to what’s going to be happening ten seconds in the future!
It takes you exactly ten seconds FORWARD into the future, although you can take it further than that when you get more experience personally experienced.
Until you master THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS, you should stay within the bounds of the ten-second limit.
There’s a definite limit to the time you’re able to travel, so be careful.
Okay, so you enter into THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS, and almost instantly, you find yourself emerging a full TEN SECONDS into the future.
Hey, if you can read the newspaper headlines fast enough, you might be able to play the stock market for a couple of minutes before you collapse in total exhaustion.
Traveling in time takes ENERGY — a LOT of energy, and that’s why I suggest Gorebagg’s Energy Bars for that quick pick-me-up when you want to shoot ahead twenty minutes or so, to avoid an unpleasant conversation or an unwelcome all-veggie meal.
The fact is, I don’t make a Gorebagg’s Energy Bar, but with someone’s kind help, I could, and they would be consumed, I would hope, by users of my incredible invention, THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS.
It sounds like such a GENERIC name, it won’t be possible to pick it out of the crowd of “other” time machine entries in google.
So what do I do in a case like that? Find one or two search words that convey the exact meaning of “the time machine” and at the same time is generic enough to get out there, or what?
My solution is very simple. Name the thing something like “THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS”, and leave it at that, let them do NO guessing!
And yes, put it in all caps. Anyone offended by an elderly senior using all caps would be equally offended by my lack of reaction to their taking of offense.
If you can get far enough into the future, you can bring back some interesting news, such as the winner in the Kentucky Derby, or the new heavyweight champion of the world, or the score in the next Yankee/Dodgers game.
If you make it back fast enough, you can get to a bookie within seconds of your arrival in the future.
You simply have to be fast enough to make your bet — you’ve only got a ten-second edge on the bookies and racetrack touts.
If you’re a creative person and you want to see how your art fares in the future, you can get a glimpse of it with my THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS.
Imagine walking down a hallway whose sides are literally dripping with energy, with a definite destination ahead of you — TEN SECONDS INTO THE FUTURE.
You walk straight ahead, and in the blink of an eye, YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE, exactly ten seconds from where you started, as counted off verbally and shown in signs on wall.
WHAM! There you are, ten seconds into the future, and all you had to do was walk.
Keep doing this, and eventually you will learn how to WALK THE TIME PATH, in more or less the same setup you experienced in my street busker’s pitch, “See in Three Dimensions”, in which the passer-by gets to look at a 3-D world through lens-less binocular tubes.
My friend Mike used to make these out of cardboard toilet-paper tubes, but eventually learned the secret of using cut-up mailing tubes, which are much thicker and more convincing.
He charged a quarter to look through them, and some people took him up on it. Mind you, this was in 1957, when a quarter bought a full meal you couldn’t touch for less than ten bucks today except at the fast-food places, where you can get an entire dinner for under a buck.
Well, maybe six bucks, when you level it off.
How long does it take to get ten seconds away? Well, ten seconds, of course. You can’t speed that up or slow it down except subjectively.
You can refer to a watch or your computer or cellphone to verify the ten-second difference. You will be amazed. Your friends will be amazed.
If they’re not amazed at the time travel effect, they will at least be amazed that you bothered to do this.
With my incredible THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS you can get quite a reputation in your neighborhood, or at work.
If you can run Godd™ on your laptop, you might be able to set up a busker booth at the library.
Also useful to help you get through long periods of public transportation. At least you won’t miss your stop.
You’ve been very patient, and now I’ll take a moment to explain HOW it works.
Your Avatar walks down the TIME PATH, and as you walk, you will hear “ONE”, then “TWO” and so forth, until the count of “TEN”, at which point, you can let go of the controls with the absolute certainty that you are now ten seconds into the future from where you started.
It’s somewhat similar to using the binoculars in “SEE IN 3 DIMENSION”, in that you’re gently and cleverly REMINDING them that they see in three dimensions all the time.
Sure, it takes ten seconds to get ten seconds away, but you did it USING THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS, and there’s no beating the experience personally experienced of THE PASSAGE OF TIME.
So I made a TIME PATH, which represents the passage of time, and it’s down that path you walk, one second at a time.
You can even put the SECONDS TIMER on as you walk, and verify INSTANTLY that you have achieved your aim of landing ten seconds in the future.
My THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS is fully guaranteed. Get ten seconds into the future or your money back.
I think this could be a real fun holiday gift, something akin to the Pet Rock but without the rock.
Let me know what you think, and while you’re at it, how about placing an order for a hundred of them, for all your time-consumed friends and relatives?
There’s nothing like a THE TIME MACHINE THAT REALLY WORKS to really drive it home that you’ve just blown the last ten seconds trying to get ten seconds into the future.
With practice, you can learn to waste an entire day waiting for the day to end.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby