Forget about the evacuation plans — there’s a good chance we can make a powerful jump, but we’ll have to use several magical methods to make it work.
You’ll need to set up at least minimally as a zombie family salesperson, but you won’t actually have to sell anything if you don’t want to, or just plain can’t, and there’s nobody else in your family who can or will do it for you.
One single small order of hot sauce is all you need to actually get started, but you’ll soon want to get the whole store and set it up on the side of the road or at a local fair, because this stuff sells, and what’s more, it may keep you off the government “roundup” rolls.
You need money, a lot of it, to get past this Trump Blockade in this Time Zone, and it can be done, but you’ll need lots of luck to make it through.
Speaking of luck, no matter what else you do, you need to buy, sell, trade and give away Lucky Rodneys, which has a powerful effect in itself.
Zombie Family Hot Sauces include BBQ sauces, steak sauces, marinades and more, and they’re all carefully made in a small family style kitchen, all fully licensed everywhere in the USA, so you can sell these products anywhere.
All our zomfam products carry Sacred Blessings, but nobody has to know that — they bring peace and harmony and good wishes for continued prosperity.
You get a selection of sauces in your first order, but most of those products will not sell — you’ll sell a TON of our “Habenero From Hell”, made with Red Savina Peppers, the hottest known EDIBLE hot sauce in the world!
You could set up a small outlet with just the hottest selling hot sauce, the Habenero, or you might want to include the most popular and not quite so hot “Chipotle Adobo”.
If you really want to go whole-hog, you can order all our sauces AND chocolates AND cappuccino mixes AND tea mixes and blends and all sorts of zomfam products that are ready to go out there on YOUR countertop to earn you money & Merit!
I’ve got the whole deal ready for YOU to sell up a storm, including the booth, which is nothing more than a canopy & table & chair.
You can get the USA flag canopy from K-Mart for under $40, the USA flag chair for less than $30, and the folding table for less than $50 while it’s still on sale — they’re already gearing up for back-to-school, so all the picnic stuff is on sale, up to 90% off, pretty much everywhere.
It’s going to be a tough year for any business that can’t go onto the street to earn a buck.
Zombie Family products are totally successful, lots of public interest and acceptance — with the occasional anti-zombie sentiments expressed by customers you don’t want as customers, of course, as per usual.
So now we have a SET of stuff that you will want to use to make a successful zombie family business, which not only makes you money and keeps food on your family’s table, but also guides you and helps you in your Bodhisattva Work.
Food is the primary method of spiritual transmission.
Let’s see what it takes to make you a successful zomfam salesperson:
You’ll also need the following items:
- SMALL TESTER CUPS — These stack and are large enough to allow a decent dip into the sauce.
- CHIPS — I use a selection of four chips, one of which is a miniature cup that easily works as a dipper, and of course dietary chips, low-fat chips and blue corn all natural and organic, and I will send specific and exact instructions on which chips to buy — I’ll go through the options when you take the zomfam workshop, which I’m holding at the Labor Day Convention. You will want to attend if you hope to make a jaunt from Trump World to a slightly safer “Trump-Free Zone”, available only a few life-sreams over from here, but you’ll need to take a zig-zag course which involves several temporary life-stream stopovers to “change trains”, as it were.
- CHIP & SAUCE TRAYS — You’ll actually need a total of 12 of these at about $20 apiece, but they are the key to your booth design, and they save you a LOT of money in not so visible ways.
- SQUEEZE BOTTLES — You will need these to load up your sauce tester lidded cups — please don’t invent another way to do this, because this system WORKS. The squeezers I recommend are food-rated and easy to wash up, which you will have to do frequently, making sure not to get any hot sauce in your eyes.
- TABLECLOTH — A black tablecloth might be too spooky for you, but it’s what I always use, to eliminate the table from the visual field of the customer, who is already plenty confused and disoriented enough.
- ZOMBIE FAMILY PICNIC BANNER — This is a HUGE banner that will advertise your presence quite well, with a spooky but funny zombie scene printed on it underneath the lettering.
- ZOMBIE FAMILY POSTER — These you can get at ProsperityPath on RedBubble, under the heading “photo prints” or “art prints” in any size you like, at a ridiculously low price. I always go for something you can see from a car zipping along at 55 MPH or more, which means seeing it in plenty of time to pull over and stop safely.
- LUCKY PENNIES — These you give away with your business card in a small packet that they can take home.
Along with that, you’ll need some Lucky Rodneys in capsules, some in sterling silver bezels as pendants and earrings, and you’re ready for the Big Time!
A WORD OF WARNING:
This practice produces long flashes of Waking State. If you don’t want that, don’t do it. There, I’ve given the obligatory warning. It’s on your own recognizance from here on in.
I could go into a fair today and give away pennies with my business card, telling them that we have lots of great giveaways including free books for kids, plus many free fun classes in stage magic, watercolor, guitar, ukelele, drums, creative writing & poetry, dance, theater and much, much more, all free, and why not? We have a Lucky Rodney!
Lucky Rodney brings prosperity. Money is just one small measure of real prosperity. Prosperity includes personal freedom, guaranteed by the Constitution of the United Snakes, but not actually available to the poor and other minorities that are now the majority.
Here’s where we see your mettle.
It doesn’t take a personal wish to survive Trump. As a matter of fact, your best bet is to attach yourself to a Higher Purpose and ride that horse through the Troubled Times.
When you enact a ZomFam booth, you will mount that horse and start riding toward safety, toward a world of mutual respect — “Hail the Jewel Residing Within the Lotus” is the correct translation from my Tibetan original, given centuries ago and quite mangled in the usual English translations since the old days at the Potala, and boy did we have hot sauces back then!
That’s the sort of thing you just don’t consider — I’m thinking of re-issuing my Tibetan Monk hot sauces, but have no idea whether there’d be any interest here in the Western Hemisphere, which is a new market, as you know.
Two hat salespeople are sent by their hat company to a newly discovered country, where they discover that nobody wears a hat there, nobody.
The first hat salesman messages his bosses: “Nobody here wears a hat. I’m coming home.”
The second salesman leaves the hotel and immediately rents a dwelling, wiring back, “Wow, nobody here wears a hat! What a huge market awaits me!”.
It really is all about the attitude. If you have lousy Charisma, you will sell zero product, regardless of how good the product is, or how attractive it may be to the eye.
Ultimately, it’s all about the person behind the counter.
What a terrific feedback machine the ZomFam booth turns out to be! You can adjust your manifestations until you successfully sell product.
The product is exactly the same, yet two people will have totally different experiences. Why is that? Can you guess? Gosh, maybe that’s what your personal work is all about???
Oh, well, it’s probably best just to read about it and dream.
It costs very little to set up a sales booth or walkabout vendor. I can get you started for as little as $200, which doesn’t buy a whole lot, but it WILL give you the basics from which to expand, in both the Lucky Rodney and Zombie Family Foods areas.
Why not get started now? This is BBQ season, and is a good bet for hot sauce sales while the season lasts, which is right up until Labor Day weekend, which is when we have our workshopping experiences at the Labor Day Con, yes???
I expect to see everyone there. If there’s a money problem, don’t let it interfere with your work necessity — we will handle it and make room for you somehow.
If you are reading this blog, or hearing my voice reading this blog, you need this workshop. I will be outlining the vital necessities to make the next jaunt, and having a working Zombie Family operation is the first step you can take toward that end.
It isn’t about how interested you are in hot sauces, zombies, luck or Early American History in the year 1776.
It has nothing to do with whether selling this stuff turns you on, or not. It’s a method — perhaps it’s more correct to say “Method”. A practice that has a distinct World-Changing Effect, meaning that you travel from one life-stream to another that is similar but has different conditions making it slightly or very much safer for you and your family.
You must accept the fact that you now have to protect yourself from Trump, and the best way to do that is to ESCAPE & EVADE, which was my military specialty, and has always been my best suit when it comes to conflict.
I offer a way to another world, but YOU have to take the turn. It’s your decision, and there are intentional roadblocks along the way to assure your integrity of intention.
Integrity will be an unknown in Trump World. You need to get out of Trump World. This is a way out, but as I said, YOU have to take the step.
There are lots of folks who have taken that step, and so far, no complaints. There are a variety of reasons why that might be.
If you really really want to get started, you would be well advised to do it now rather than later, when it might not be so possible as it is today.
Most of the products you’ll need can be had at your local supermarket, things like chips, plastic stuff, paper goods, things like that.
You’ll need to rent a local legal kitchen for your licensed food-handler to divide up the chips and bag them, and squeeze out the hot sauces into the little covered cups, and so forth. It should cost you $25 a hour, and you only need one hour. I’ll explain further at the workshop how this works and how to do it cheaply with a minimum of labor.
At some point, we’ll have our own rebagging center for chips and sauces for the tasting table, and we’ll be able to ship those to you ready to use, without having to have a legal kitchen, working out of ours.
That brings up another point. We need a legal kitchen for the Zombie Family Food products, especially when they catch on at local farmers’ markets, which is how we intend to market them right away, along with fairs, street events and of course, the gallery.
It’s actually a brilliant idea — not mine, a Zad-o-Gram from my marketing angel, Zadkiel — to set up a full Zombie Family Cook-Off Picnic Table with all the sauces laid out for tasting, four different kinds of chips and, of course, the Only Known Antidote For Zombie Family Hot Sauce, the cans of cold Pepsi in a heap of ice in the ZomFam Picnic Cooler from Zazzle.
Here’s the gimmick:
If they can taste the hot sauces without drinking the Pepsi, they get the hot sauce, which sells for $14, for half price — $7, for any hot sauce that they can take straight, including the BBQ sauces and the super-hot but delicious Ever-Popular, Zombie Family Steak Sauces.
I have a new sauce coming out soon — it’s wine country here, so naturally we have a Cabernet Steak Sauce that is literally out of this world.
Out of This World is the idea. How you get there is Zombie Family & Lucky Rodney, and that’s just the START of this journey!
Don’t miss the train. I’m at the station now.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby