ESCAPE FROM PLANET TRUMP
Sorry if you’re a Christian, and you got scared by my previous blog. I was being amusingly speculative, but even had I not been playfully toying with the thought experiment, “What Happened to the Christians?”, it would have nothing to do with YOU.
I guarantee that even if you wore an 8″ solid silver filigree cross vividly displayed and wore a tee shirt that said, “Ask Me About Jesus”, you’d be excluded from that exclusive club. No matter how you try to look, act, sound and smell like them, you’ll always be an outsider.
It’s not about Christianity, it’s about racism and hate groups, and preachers who preach hate. Unfortunately, humans are all-too-ready to be told what to do.
Mindless robots, relentless zombies, egotistical level bosses make a real double-socko combination-punch to the medulla oblongata!
If you’re to effectively survive and get out of harm’s way on Planet Trump, you’ll need somewhere to go. No matter where you land, you’ll be an immigrant, a newcomer, an outsider, and you’ll end up in the Amerikan Ghetto, wherever that might be.
You’ll be an Amerikan. You know, the “A” word.
In other countries, “Amerikan” will be a racial slur, and Amerikans abroad will be what foreigners are to most Amerikans, apparently.
Amerikans will be treated more or less the same way as they treat foreigners now, no matter where they go — if not immediately, certainly when enough of them have landed and are taking jobs away from the previous immigrants.
Besides, Amerikans just plain SMELL funny. I won’t drink from the same well as one of them, would you???
Of course, it makes TOTAL SENSE to try to get to another planet entirely. You don’t want to end up on the shit end of the “Immigrant” stick, so you need to find a PORTAL or STARGATE that will offer REAL escape, not just momentary relief, like taking a big dump.
Speaking of Dumps, there will be no place safe from Trumps. Grumps, Lumps, Bumps, Strumps, Humps AND of course the Yiddish variety, “Shlumps” — all these monsters, and more, are to be found in my newest game, ESCAPE FROM PLANET TRUMP.
You will have to find a completely different world, because all of PLANET TRUMP has gone mad, and it will all be embroiled in the racial purges of the 21st century.
I recommend a REALITY SHIFT to another dimension or LifeStream, and that’s why I built this video game, to show you how to REALLY GET OUT OF TOWN!!!
You can easily find your way through the mazes, and fight your way through the zombie-ridden passages and Portals.
Portals in this game are guarded, but not ALL the Portals you’ll find on Planet Trump are necessarily guarded — however, they ALL require a KEY, a PASSWORD and, of course, a RITUAL, all of which you will perform through your in-game Avatar, but don’t forget that what you do in the Quantum World REFLECTS in the Einsteinian World, so there might be direct effects from your CyberSpace actions in the video game world.
As below, so above. Follow the Drinking Gourd. I have placed specific Portal-Opening Rituals into the game, to indicate how to spot and open Portals and the same thing that opens the Portal in the game opens the real Portal in the Super-Game you call “Life”.
The very first Portal in the game “ESCAPE FROM PLANET TRUMP” is an easy and obvious gated doorway into a concrete tunnel, what is called the “Concrete Wormhole”. You’ll find out more about these Einstein-Rosen Star-Bridges in workshops and clinics.
When you first start out, you’ll have the opportunity to select a character class or type that you prefer for this run.
There are two very cute cartoon-type kids on the left, one nominally male, the other nominally female. Then you’ll note that there’s a young teenager in modern dress, and another in Medieval garb, then three more teenagers, and then on the far right, the Amazon body that you’re already wearing.
If you don’t prefer to shoot, no problem. No need to shoot a zombie. Merely toss a bomb, grenade or fireball, or blast them with magic.
You’ll find a very obvious PORTAL, in the form of an open gateway. Go through it and down, down, into the CONCRETE WORMHOLE, and your adventure will begin.
I like to play Pyro, which is Number 5 on your Weapons Pack, selected by pressing the corresponding number on your keyboard, but I also like Number 4, the Dart Gun, and for a very amusing time, I’ll choose the Number 3 Weapon, Bombs.
You have a total of ten weapons numbered zero through nine, which I’ll go over right now:
- ZAPPER — A fast-launching electrical force gun that explodes into high-radiation particles upon impact.
- BOOMERANG — Will fetch anything back to you, including monsters, so be careful what you wish for!
- BOMBS — Lob these over for some ballistically-satisfying sport!
- DARTS — The Dart Gun is a Particle Accelerator that blasts out tiny Tesla Darts.
- PYRO — A wonderful blast of energy makes this Pyro Weapon a pleasure to use.
- GRAPPLE — When you’re trapped and there’s no way out, try the Grapple!
- ROCKETS — There is nothing like a Rocket Launcher to clear the way!
- MAGIC — When the enemy is supernatural, you’ll need some Magic! Make sure you have plenty of mana before you depend on Magic!
- AUTOFIRE — This is the plasma equivalent of the Uzi SMG. Rapid-fire endless clips.
- HATCHET — Actually, the number of this weapon is “zero”. Guess what it does?
Save your Rocket Launcher AMMO for an explosive blast into a pack of horrible Ego-Eaters. They explode into little tiny particles, each of which is the same as the whole. Fascinating effect, thanks to VAL.
You can buy more AMMO with the GOLD that you collect around the labyrinth here and there. Be sure to loot the dead bodies of the zombie bodies that you’ll be leaving lying around.
The floor-cleaner scours them up, eventually, and restores the space with new zombies, but that’s the way life is, but by that time, you’ll be in Level 2.
Heck darn, if something gets in your way, reason with them with the ever-popular Pyro Flame-Thrower, which by the way, is also good for instantly clearing the ice off your HUMMER windshield.
When escaping from anything, and Planet Trump in particular, always stay with the POG, the Pack of Green. If you don’t know how to stay with the POG, or you have no idea what I’m talking about, ask Yanesh, Claude, or anyone in the Ashram.
I intend for this to be a group game, if group games are permitted anymore, and a solo game when you can’t find a group or prefer to play solo.
Uh, if you’re checking about the POG, um, well … I’d inquire rather quickly.
I’m designing this game for the PC, not for the Android. If there’s a smartphone version, it’ll have to be made from whatever I’ve done, perhaps a converter or translator, from our GODD PC game engine over to an Android or iPhone type cell phone gaming engine might be available by now — it wasn’t, a few years back.
We’ve bought escapefromplanettrump.com tonight, and I’m now starting serious work on the GODD LEVEL EDITOR, meaning that I’ve begun writing the first level, and it’s a dilly.
I’ll explain the finer points of the game and a few of the cruder ones, too.
It’s HARD to get off Planet Trump once the shooting begins, but by the time you have to grab your bug-out pack and clear the area, you’ll have SOME idea of what else to do besides shoot it out with the mob of zombies I have waiting for you around the next bend, and that never works out well.
There are no safe bends in this escape game.
Every end is a dead end, in a sense. You’ve taken yourself OUT OF PHASE and that means that you’re OFF THE GRID, quantumly speaking, which means you can SLIPSTREAM or SLIDE from one BRANE to another, using several extra dimensions, which is why they’ll end up calling you an extra-dimensional illegal alien.
You start the game by escaping from immediate mob-threat. They’re coming after everyone, sweeping the streets. Nothing escapes them. There is no reasoning with them. They are coming. They are coming, and they are dreadful.
You have to find a way around the mob, and that means finding and using the Secret Alien Portal that opens out to an area that is momentarily safe, but only momentarily.
The mob will try to find you, seek you out, so be sure to hide well, and stay there until the mob moves well past your area.
If you happen to accidentally survive the zombie mob, you might find the ALMOST inescapable LAVA PITS interesting.
If the lava pits don’t get you, then the DUNG PITS OF GLYVE will surely enmesh you in their slimy entrapments.
Should you somehow survive the dung pits, you’ll be delighted to run across the Bridge of Horror, at which you’ll have to fight a bunch of Trumps.
A “Trump” is just a plain old zombie. Level Bosses can be “SuperTrumps”, so beware and be prepared. It’s best to have a bit of extra AMMO, so load up on whatever you need for your favorite weapon, and don’t forget to see a TRADER when you run low on AMMO!
You’ll find many zombies along the way, but they’re nothing like the swarming mob of ordinary humans that awaits you at home, and is constantly just behind you, roaring with rage and pain, looking for a scapegoat.
Don’t be a Socrates. When they come to get you, be elsewhere.
There are other enemies in the way, blocking and obstructing your WORMHOLE path and making the going more than merely difficult.
Troggs and Trolls and Soul Devourers and Exploding Monsters are just a few of the horrors you’re bound to encounter between one world and another, when you GO OUT OF PHASE with the Einsteinian Reality, and decide to traverse the Time-Tunnels, Warps & WormHoles between the Branes of Reality.
But in the meantime, never mind the weirder and more dangerous enemies up ahead — what do you do NOW about the zombies?
Shoot ’em.
“Cache” is pronounced “Cash”. It’s a French word that means “stash of stuff”, usually food, water, ammo, ranged weapon, short-range hand weapon, hatchet, radio, compass, map, survival knife, weatherproof matches, butane heater & lighter, change of clothing, extra boots, backpack or knapsack, maybe more.
You can bet your sweet ass that wherever there’s a CACHE or DUMP, you’ll find guardians, usually zombies, but they can be deceptive.
What I mean is, a LOT of zombies cross-dress into human form, which is why there are so many of them when you get on any kind of line or attend any reunion.
In a High School Reunion, it’s even worse. Far fewer classmates are able to show up than those in your College Reunions, you can bet on that.
All zombies follow the Sign of the Double Cross. You can use this to your advantage. You’ll find out how to make this work for you, as you play the game.
There are tricks and traps and jumps and spins and turnarounds and wrong moves galore. You’ll find the whole experience rather challenging, to say the least, but it’s a good training ground for what’s coming up in your Alternate Reality Menu.
And I haven’t even finished describing Level 1 of ESCAPE FROM PLANET TRUMP yet — there’s so much more to tell.
How about I work on the Level a while before breakfast, eh? Keep your head above water, and DON’T PANIC!
Do watch a couple of films: “They Live” and “Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, both of which give abundant hints on what to look for and how to SEE it, StarGates included.
It’s all in the light-shift. Watch for the glint, the slight rip in the fabric of space!
Look all around you — there are Vortex Points and StarGates pretty much everywhere, except perhaps some of the ritzier areas of Long Island, Palm Beach and Palm Springs.
You know what? “It’s a helluva lot easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich person to enter the Kingdom.”
That was the original quote.
It had nothing to do with Heaven, which wasn’t invented until seven hundred years after Jesus walked on this planetary sphere.
Make that 787 years, to be exact.
By that time, EVERYTHING about Jesus was strictly hearsay, rumor, gossip and speculation.
When you meet the REAL Jesus, you’ll see how wrong human people and zombies can be. You will encounter Jesus in-game. He’s your cabbie when you drive through upper East Side Manhattan.
When you DO see Jesus, tell him Groucho sent you.
And get a receipt.
Here are some lyrics for your protest filk song rallies …
- If you wanna hear a liar
- Tell a bullshit tale,
- Or you wanna hear denial
- Of a Mission Fail
CHORUS:
- Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
- Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire. (repeat)
- When you wanna hear the truth
- You will have to pull a tooth
- If Ivanka were not his daughter,
- He’d be dating her if he caught her.
CHORUS:
I haven’t written the whole song, yet, and you’re certainly welcome to add any verses you’d like to sing, change mine, whatever.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby