BITE YOURSELF, DONALD TRUMP!
Please keep in mind that I haven’t written a protest song in well over half a century, and I wouldn’t do it now, except that we now have sitting in the White House a real louse, who insists on robbing us of our freedoms, and setting back the Civil Rights clock over a century into the past.
I don’t care about Trump personally, or politically. I’m just taking this opportunity to show my guitar and folksong writing classes how to write a protest song — that’s my entire agenda.
Is Trump traumatic? Is he intolerable? You bet he is, but I really don’t care. I’ve lived under worse dictators, and they always get theirs, in the end. Usually, the people who put them in power become disgusted and they take matters into their own hands — not a good plan, these days.
De-stabilizing Amerika is what both Putin AND Trump have in mind. Trump is looking for ANY excuse to call in the National Guard and declare a State of Emergency in which he assumes full dictatorial powers.
Think it can’t happen here? It already did, in the administration of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who served a THIRD TERM and would have remained in office for LIFE had he been given the opportunity.
An NPD does not easily let go of power, equity or fame.
Donald Trump is now, and will always be, a laughing stock, and history will place him right there next to Napoleon Bonaparte, Hitler, Mussolini and Jack the Ripper.
Okay, maybe the Ripper is a bit over the top, but you get what I mean. For the rest of human history — not that long now — his name is “Mud”.
Well, no, wait a moment — now that I think about it, Jack the Ripper had pretty much the same attitude toward women that Trump seems to have. Love ’em & Leave ’em.
My suspicion is that Trump is in the direct pay of the Russian government — Jesus, he could easily be a replacement, like the second Paul McCartney, or it’s the same guy, only he’s been brainwashed and programmed by the Russians to open the door and let them in without a shot being fired.
Wouldn’t that be something?
I LOVE Red Dawn, it’s such a comforting film — comforting to know that sooner or later, I’ll collect my dollar bet when the humans push the nuclear button and it all goes up in smoke.
At some point — I failed my 37th century class on 21st century history, but I sort of remember some of the details — Donald Trump goes ballistic onstage, right in front of a LIVE audience, and he has to be either herded offstage or actually carried kicking and screaming offstage.
I forget how Congress handles it, but I do know that he doesn’t last long. Dammit, I hope he can hang in long enough for me to launch my People’s Protest Songbook!
I need the extra income to pay for my medical bills that aren’t covered by my lack of coverage.
Just like yourself and everyone you and I know, I’m on the New Trump Medical Plan — I plan not to get sick. I have no other options, unless we leave town, and that’s probably what everyone with an ounce of sense and intelligence will do.
Leave Amerika to the Fundamentalist Christians and the Fundamentalist Muslims to fight over the territory until the Russians and Chinese march in and split it up between them.
Trump is such a sucker, he’s easily led into the trap by his buddy Putin, who is the most back-stabbing bastard this side of Stalin, except that Stalin was slightly less ruthless.
Like I said, I only hope Trump remains in power long enough to get a couple hundred copies of my songbook out there in public, for protest singers to sing and kids to learn when they want to know the story of Donald Duck Trump.
Here’s a list of the songs in LeslieAnn’s People’s Protest Songbook:
- Donald Can You Spare a Dime?
- Donald’s War
- The Donald Tweets Tonight
- Drinking Gourd
- Emperor Donald
- Everybody Dislikes President Trump
- Far From The Trumpies
- Feelin’ Uptight
- Freedom Special
- Frozen Donald
- Go Tell Miss Liberty
- Hang Down Your Head Poor Donald
- Hey Trump
- Hit The Road Trump
- If I Had an iPhone
- If You’re White
- Imagine There’s No Trump At All
- Ivana Trump
- Let Trump Pay
- Listen Donald Trump
- Mama Told Me Not To Come
- Mercedes Trump
- Miss Liberty Don’t You Weep
- No Balls At All
- No One Knows Trump
- One Trump Over The Line
- Purple Haze
- Putin On The Style
- Rainbow Trump
- Smoke On The Water
- Sympathy For The Trump
- Talkin’ ‘Bout My Meditation
- There Once Was A Union Maid
- The Weight
- This Land Is Trump’s Land
- Trump Meatball
- The Trump Pretender
- Trump Roast Blues
- TrumpTime
- Trump Train
- Wall Around Heaven
- Waltzing Gorilla
- Washington Farewell
Those are them, and believe me, you’ll never sing all of them in one sitting. You’ll want to choose the songs that best express your views, probably anywhere from eight songs to maybe a dozen.
If you’re doing a whole show, you’ll want to organize the songs in relation to the audience participation, feeling, mood and subject matter or specific concept.
I very intentionally used well-known songs as the basis for my parodies, so that you’re easily able to track where the song originally went, and where I went with it to create the sense of parody.
It’s obvious that Donald Trump is the reincarnation of Benito Mussolini, the dictator of Italy who was dragged through the streets by his own people at the end of his tyranny.
How to write a protest song is more important than memorizing a few protest songs, but if you don’t actually SING them and get others singing them, you might as well curl up and die.
You’ve been practicing guitar, you either have or soon will have a voice harmonizer so you can belt out your songs of protest. All that remains is for YOU to actually DO IT.
If you’re on a Women’s March, Minorities March, Immigrants March, Civil Rights March, or your local neighborhood Poverty March or Riot, you’ll want to bring along your Protest Songbook and an asbestos jacket.
If you don’t even try, it’s a guaranteed fail.
I thought I’d include a sample of one of the lyric sheets you get in the songbook, and by the way, I don’t expect Donald Trump to actually listen. He’s an NPD, and an NPD can’t be wrong and will not long endure ridicule, even from the small and helpless victim he has under his utterly ruthless heavy thumb.
He is a monster, and the sooner people realize that he will betray everyone including his supporters, the better, so tune up your guitar and warm up your ROLAND STREET AMP, and get singing!
LISTEN DONALD TRUMP
(to the tune of “Listen, Mr. Bilbo”)
Listen, Donald Trump, listen to me,
I’ll give you a lesson in history.
Listen and I’ll show you that the foreigners you hate,
Are the very same people made America great.
In 1492, just to see what he could see,
Columbus, an Italian, looked out across the sea.
He said, Isabella, the world is very round,
And the U.S.A. is just a-waiting to be found.
In 1609, on a bright summer’s day,
The Half Moon set anchor in old New York Bay.
Henry Hudson, a Dutchman, took a good look around,
And said, “Boys, this is gonna be a helluva town”.
(CHORUS)
When the King of England started pushing Yankees around,
We had a little trouble up in Boston town.
An African-American, Crispus Attucks was the man,
Was the first to fall,
when the revolution began.
Colin Kelly was a pilot flying down low,
Levine pushed the button that let the bomb go.
They sunk the Haruna to the bottom of the sea,
It was foreigners like those who kept America free.
(CHORUS)
With a Slavic wife you’re taking a helluva of a chance,
And your good friends, the Duponts, came over from France.
Another thing, I’m sure, will be news to you,
The first Mister Trump was a foreigner, too.
(CHORUS)
Well, you don’t like Mexicans, Muslims, or Jews,
If there’s anyone you DO like, it sure is news.
You don’t like Hindus, Catholics, and Buddhists too,
Is it any wonder, Donald, that we don’t like you?
Listen, Donald Trump, listen to me,
I’ll give you a lesson in history.
Listen and I’ll show you that the foreigners you hate,
Are the very same people made America great.
Well, what are you waiting for? Get hold of that songbook and start playin’ and protestin’! If you don’t raise your voice against hate and violence, who will?
Is it dangerous?
Yeah, it’s mother-fucking dangerous. These guys are not playing with a full deck, and they literally have no conscience, no sense of right and wrong, no feelings for anyone including themselves.
The Trump Supporters are typically, although not always, racist and hate-mongering, anti-Semitic, anti-Muslim, anti-Arab, anti pretty much everything except lily white and their particular brand of Protestant Christian.
They are a mob, and even when they’re not acting as a mindless mob, they are hopelessly and incurably consumed with violence, anger, hatred and vengeance.
That’s a pretty accurate description of planet Earth, and the easy eruption into violence of the human species is the singular reason that there is NO FEDERATION CONTACT with these creatures, none whatever, and there won’t be time to see that happen, not now, with Trump in charge, holding the entire world hostage to his demands and his insanity.
Far from Salvation, the Council of 9 are no longer thinking that humans are in any mood to calm down, and if they’re right, I collect my bet, one Federation Dollar.
I don’t actually NEED the dollar, but it was such a sucker bet, I’m sure I’ll collect, and they gave me 3 million to 1 odds, haw, haw, haw!
The plan of the Council of 9 is to — as usual — wipe out the human race entirely, not leaving a single one to breed again, and start over, perhaps with ants, cockroaches and rats — there’s a good chance they’ll arrive at the high technology star-voyaging stage without the violence and greed that humans unfortunately display.
I didn’t say the Council of 9 had the greatest imaginations. They have a very limited response to racial warfare. Generally, it’s a flood, but as I said before, that’s totally out now.
The majority vote in the Council is for Fire, and that’d be either the Yellowstone Caldera eruption, or a nuclear exchange.
I voted for both.
After an Extinction Event like the one coming up, you have to have a surviving species with an opposable thumb, but sloths, squirrels and raccoons are not their first choice to inherit the Earth.
I really like the ants as a “win” bet, maybe the cockroaches to “place” and the rats to “show” — that’s first, second and third place in your typical horse race.
The election of Donald Trump was no accident. Putin is in control. Hold onto your radiation suits, this is not over yet.
Like I said, I only hope the administration lasts long enough for me to get my book out there. I wouldn’t want nuclear war to interfere with my spring marketing plans again.
Last time this happened, we lost Atlantis.
Oh, well, back to the drawing board. Keep watching for the bright flash — resist the urge to look directly at it. Remember what happened to Lot’s wife back when I unleashed a few airbursts over Sodom & Gomorrah.
I’ve already told Valiant Thor he can just turn his ship around and go back home. The humans are determined to have a nuclear war — I say, let them have it!
See You At The Top!!!
gorby