Release date on this game is “Real Soon”. I’ve finished the new weapons, and I think you’ll favor the bombs, wep #3 slot, and the new grapple action, where you skywalk with the grapple pull, and can turn, arm yourself differently, latch onto a ceiling, and fire away down below.
“Sounds like a shooter,” I hear you say, and you’d be right, it IS a shooter, but not ordinary weapons, these are mostly magic, with a boomerang and grapple thrown in for sheer fun, and why shouldn’t Hell be fun?
You can’t make Hell just go away.
Hell happens, even on Earth, and you can FEEL it when it happens. This upcoming period of conflict between humans will eventually engulf the entire planet in turmoil and a new Dark Ages will descend upon the Earth, and that’ll be the end of Social Media and the Internet and all the devices that depend upon the Internet to run.
Internet? You won’t even be able to send a letter.
The fastest way I know to destroy the EFFECT of Hell is to have fun in Hell, to see the humor in Hell, to find joy where there cannot be joy, to discover bliss where there is only pain and suffering.
Hey, Hell sounds like YOUR hometown, doesn’t it?
The fact is that HELL IS HERE and the BRUTE WORLD IS ALSO HERE, right here, where you live. That you don’t see it operating all the time is a credit to your choice of present location, away from the flesh-peddling cribs and whips, chains and other devices common to Demons whose JOB it is to torment the innocent and guilty alike.
Oh, yes, didn’t I mention it? Reward and Punishment are human inventions to describe the indiscriminate dissemination of Hellspawn amongst all living creatures and spiritual beings everywhere.
“Why, this IS Hell, Faustus, nor am I out of it. Of all the inhabitants of Hell, none but Lucifer knows that Hell IS Hell.”– Mephistopheles, Christopher Marlowe, Tragedie of Faust.
Hell is torment, and those who torture you intentionally and unintentionally are part of it. In Hell, shooting Demons with ordinary weapons merely makes them mad.
You don’t want to get a Demon mad. They’re dangerous and evil enough when they’re dispassionately ripping you to shreds and dumping the shredded remains into the fertilizer to be reborn in the Hell of Putrid Souls.
Oh, yes, as the commercials in Afterlife TV say, “There’s a Hell For Every Occasion.”
One poor soul recently arrived in Hell and learned for the first time that there’s a choice in the kind of Hell you have to endure. After rejecting several hundred Hells in which mostly you got speared by Demons while rotating on a spit over a River of Flame, he decided to remain in the Hell of the Endless Sea of Shit.
It didn’t seem so bad, billions of doomed souls standing around knee-deep in an ocean of putrid human waste, beyond the horizon, endlessly — indeed, it was a sea of endless shit.
“Remember,” said his Demon Guide, “once you choose a Hell, you stay there forever.”
“Okay,” he nodded. “This one will do.”
With the sound of his words still ringing in the air, the Boss Demon said to the assembled crowd around him, “Okay, break’s over. Back on your heads!”
Think of Satan as a sort of Afterlife Party Caterer, Practical Joker, Antisocial Media Maven, or Hallmark Cards salesperson — note the ungendered designation — Satan is not necessarily male, although the Catholics would like to have you believe it.
Actually, the Catholics would like to have you believe anything. They’re always selling something, and it’s time they learned that it’ll take more than burning a candle and muttering a prayer in robotic monotones that’ll bail your ass out of the Hell it’s in.
Shooting Demons with ordinary weapons, like I said before, it doesn’t work, and fighting is no solution to conflict. Eventually, all parties must come to the bargaining table and make peace, right?
Problem is, Demons are totally radicalized, complete Dominated Zombies, maniacally and freniedly committed to the ruthless torment of Others, meaning anyone not a SIMILAR demon, so of course, all the other types of demons get it, too. Negotiate with a Demon? I’ve asked you a million times not to make me laugh when my lips are chapped.
In the end, one of you will be dead. There’s not enough room in Heaven or Hell or on Earth for you and the Demons assigned to your torment, and you CAN get the upper hand, but it takes work, skill, and much better weapons than the ones you have to begin with, to take out each of the 7 Level Bosses that await your pleasure and their pain.
LEVEL BOSSES are not their minions, and they don’t fight like them or poof away so easily. It might take you several dozen tries to get past a Level Boss, maybe more, and if you get frustrated with them, you’ve only yourself to blame — they’re YOUR Demons!
There are a total of SEVEN LEVEL BOSSES, each with an army of minions dedicated to the utter destruction of you and any horse you might have ridden in on, and that goes for your friends in your dungeon party, too, because THIS IS A FULL MEGA MULTIPLAYER GAME with NO LIMIT to the number of players, and it’s ALWAYS FREE TO PLAY.
Hell is not a nice place to visit, and it’s even worse to live and work there, like you do. Might as well learn some of the tricks that help you get along with demons, and even put them to work for the liberation of Lost Souls, one of which could well be you, if not now, sometime in the future, when you lose your footing and fall down into the River of Flame, where you’ll probably start your journey.
You’ve been so good all your life, how come you end up in Hell?
Heaven is not a reward, nor is Hell a punishment for bad behavior. They are places where the soul can end up for a while, and frankly, there’s not a lot of work in Heaven, preaching to the choir.
Hell is where the work is.
Unfortunately, Hell is also the place where all the action is. If you’re getting used to Heaven and its lovely climate but lousy social life, unless you LIKE Billy Graham and Elvis Presley as neighbors — I don’t, and I’m tired of listening to the King practice on his diamond-studded guitar all day and night. We don’t have to sleep, so it’s double the misery when he cranks his amp up to “11” and wails “Nearer My God To Thee” into the Long, Dark Night of the Soul.
Have you ever been downtown? That’s where you’ll find Hell on Earth, if you’ve been wanting to shop there. The Brute World is an area through which you can more or less safely drive with the windows up and a .357 in the glove compartment.
The Hell World is a neighborhood that even the cops and the army don’t dare drive through in tanks, and it’s within a five-minute taxicab drive from YOUR home, although most of the time, you don’t encounter it directly except through the internet, where Hell is ALWAYS in your face, and Demons are everywhere, lurking around every virtual corner.
If you don’t encounter Demons much, you won’t know how to handle it, and you’ll probably do the wrong thing, the thing that will get the Demon on your case, and then you’ll have to apply COMMON SENSE RULE #1, never let a Demon walk out of the room alive.
In “A Season in Hell”, you’ll find Demons aplenty, and torment you, they will. You have ten different weapons with which to torment them back double and more. Your payback will be dispassionate until they shred you one too many times, and then, watch out, Luke, the temptation will be strong in you to turn to the Dark Side, but you mustn’t do that.
Stay on target. Stay on target.
Say it one more time, and you-know-who appears out of nowhere, and then you have to pay royalties on the song.
Speaking of songs, I’ve included a soundtrack and storyline in the game; the music trax are Accardi/Gold, BMI, and are available on CD or as a download from CD Baby as “Hot Night in Hell”.
I have at my disposal the latest GoDD® Physics Engine, and intend to use it to the fullest. Particle effects are its strong suit, and I’m applying them, from swirling ground fog to overhead clouds and incense swirls from copper burners.
You might notice the SuperBeacons, Matrix Boards and Crystal Xmitters that abound in the game-field. These are tied to corresponding actual altar items that are charged every day.
How do you charge an altar item?
The smartass answer would be, “on whichever credit card isn’t maxed out”, but actually, incense fumigation, candle burning, chanting, instrumental drone and of course focus of attention and willpower will charge up any altar item.
Sure, the same old formulas work again and again. As the Great Comedy Stage Magician Ballantine said while cutting the thread that holds up the object in midair, “How else???”.
Perhaps I should give full billing to the Demons here. They are crafted by XxaxX, aka Uncle Claude the Little Old Demon-Maker, and they are more than merely scary, they’re unnerving and leave the stomach lurching and the eye willing to look anywhere elsewhere than at that monstrously hideous and yet somehow attractive Demonic form.
In short, they’re cute while at the same time being horrifically terrifyingly threatening.
At least, MOST of them appear threatening, but some don’t. Some look friendly, and downright harmless, sort of like a pre-teen suicide bomber, only these guys have no family and friends back home to worry about or virgins and luxury to die for. They’re just plain mean and totally suicidal, and if you were a Demon, you’d be happy to die any day of the week. They welcome death, and you’re their meat.
Problem is, when you fall into the boiling hot lava or get stabbed from behind by an evil creature from the swamps of Hell or poked and smashed and blown up by a variety of missiles aimed directly at you with your demise in mind, it doesn’t matter, because you come back alive the very next moment, and you have to do it all over again, but the dead Demons don’t come back … most of the time.
Look at it from a Demon’s perspective, and you’ll get a sense of sympathy for their position. Somebody comes ripping into their territory. They’re programmed to defend their territory to the death, and you’re in it, see? Simple math. One of you has to go.
In my game, you’ll be the logical choice to go. You’ll have to work very hard to not be the face that ends up on the cutting-room floor every single time, because my Demons never miss a trick, and some of them are hiding behind you, some wait for you in ambush, and others appear just when you least expect them to.
You’ll sustain SOME damage at every encounter, and the only way you’ll survive it is by luck and some amount of skill. You can’t dodge EVERY shot, and they are relentless — Demons will chase you until one of you lies there in a smoking heap of ashes.
Bargaining Table? Not in Hell. Total War Means Total Wipeout. Leave ONE DEMON alive and they’ll all spawn back to life — they have “Restore Life” in their backpacks, every single one of them, and they will restore until all are poofed and gone, including the FINAL BOSS, an unkillable creature that can only be destroyed with the SUPERWEP that YOU construct out of parts you find in the dungeons.
You think Earth warriors are committed? These Hellspawn Demons are WORSE than gang members — they’re not merely unafraid to die, they’re EAGER to die and even more eager to take YOU with them when they go.
How to fight this Weird Suicidal Evil?
Throw yourself into the fight and don’t count the number of times you die.
HOW you die is unimportant except to the survivors. Most Demons like to make fearful deaths out of their victims, because it tends to discourage and make the heart faint, but not if you yourself are capable of dispassionate wholesale slaughter, and in the Heart of Hell, I’d tend to encourage that.
Large masses of spawns of the Level Bosses will assail you, and they have no Order of Combat to wade through, meaning that several or many can attack you all at the same time, and surrounding you and exterminating you down to a smoking heap of ashes is their main purpose in life, and you should maintain a hearty outlook in the face of this fact, and try to return the favor.
There’s a lot more, but we’re in the ICW now, so I’ll post this to be read, and I’ll continue it later on …
See You At The Top!!!
gorby