“Fresh Space-Bender Tramp-Stamps For Sale Here Today!!!” — that’s what I told the sign-maker at Staples yesterday afternoon that I wanted for a sign over my street booth, because this will be my 36th year at both the Victorian Christmas in Nevada City, now also in its 36th year of Christmas Cheer & Tradition, featuring roasted chestnuts, gas lighting in a quaint 19th century atmospheric setting — the town is basically as it was 150 years ago.
I’ll also be, as usual, in my booth at the world-famous Cornish Christmas celebration in Grass Valley, which began in 1967 as a way to preserve Grass Valley’s Cornish traditions and history. Food & drink from Gold Rush Days are served, and strolling musicians, jugglers, fire-eaters and belly-dancers abound, as well as Cornish Choir and the Tommyknocker Cloggers, an amazing and popular act.
I’ll of course be doing my contact juggling, hoop work, stick twirling and the ever-popular 2,000 year old Miracle of the Chinese Linking Rings and my Atlantean Crystal Ball and Lemurian Floating Zombie Ball. I will also undoubtedly want to bring along a few Houdini Lights and a change-bag full of health-food candy.
“So, LeslieAnn,” she replied, “you want a sign that says ‘Fresh Space-Bender TempTats For Sale Here Today!!!’???” she smiled, obviously ready to make the sign the moment I nodded “yes”.
“Okay, that’ll be $80, is that ok? It’s $10 a word, and I can count Tramp-Stamps as one word, because it’s hyphenated.”
“Um, wait a minute,” I said. “Ten bucks a word?”
“Yep,” she nodded.
“Well, actually, the sign doesn’t need to say Today. Everyone will figure that out by themselves, just automatically. I mean, when else would I be selling them?”
“Sure, no problem,” she said agreeably, impressed, I think, with my perspicacity. Look it up.
“But wait,” I said again, “Surely we don’t need the word Here, do we? Of course it’s here.”
“Right on,” she agreed.
“And to be perfectly realistic about it, the sign needn’t say Fresh. Would I be selling rotten Tramp Stamps?”
“No, of course not,” she laughed with me.
“Gosh,” I added quickly, I don’t even need to say For Sale, because why else would I be standing out there in the cold with the whirling snow whipping through my underwear?”
“You’re right,” she agreed again.
“And Space-Bending Tramp-Stamps would be totally redundant. They can see for themselves what I’m selling — they’re all over the table.”
“So what do you want the sign to say?” she prompted.
“How about Ignore This Sign, I asked.
“K,” she responded, “that’ll be $30 plus tax.”
So ignore the sign. It’s obvious that you can buy my Space-Bender Tramp Stamps right here, right now, today, and they’re totally fresh, as you can plainly see.
The download would be outrageous if I listed all 52 of the round tramp stamps here, and if I included all the tattoos, which number well over 2,000, it could be a six-month download just to see them all. I’ll find somewhere to put them so you can see them and order them, but in the meantime, all my Round Tramp-Stamps are $12.95 apiece. Here’s a list of what’s ready to ship today:
TRAMP STAMP BLUE — TRAMP STAMP RED — FEED ME (RED) — LOVE & PIECE (RED) — BIG BANG (RED) — NO VACANCY (RED) — SACRED ALTAR (RED) — MAKE LOVE (RED) — WHORE OF ETERNITY (RED) — GODDESS BITCH (RED) — UP MY SELF-ESTEEM (PURPLE & BLUE) — YOU’RE THE BEST (PURPLE & BLUE) — OVER 100 BIKERS CAN’T BE WRONG (YELLOW & BLUE) — BOY CRAZY (BLUE & GOLD) — PIMP MY PUSSY (RED & WHITE) — EAT! DRINK! (PURPLE & WHITE) — PALEO BITCH (GREEN & WHITE) — HIGH SPIRIT (BLUE & WHITE) — BLESSED BE! (RED & WHITE) — MERRY MEET! (BLUE & WHITE) — SOCK IT TO ME! (PURPLE & WHITE) — LOVE SLAVE (PURPLE & WHITE) — SUCK MY (DOWN ARROW TURQUOISE & GOLD — STILL HOT BUT NOW IT COMES IN FLASHES (TURQUOISE & VIOLET) — PAGAN BITCH (RED & WHITE) — CELTIC BITCH (RED & WHITE) — PIRATE BOOTY (RED & WHITE) — HOT FOR DRUID (RED & WHITE) — PAGAN PUSSY (RED & WHITE) — HOT FOR CELTIC (RED & WHITE) — LAY OF THE LAND (RED & WHITE) — DIVE! DIVE! (RED & WHITE — DRUNK & HORNY (DISPLAYED ABOVE) — LOVE SLAVE (RED & WHITE) — TRAMP STAMP RED MELTED LETTERS — TRAMP STAMP WHITE AROUND RED — THIS SPACE FOR RENT (PURPLE & BLUE) — FOR THIS I SHAVED MY LEGS? (PURPLE & BLUE) — RUMI (CALLIGRAPHIC LETTERS, PURPLE & BLUE) — LOOK (CALLIGRAPHIC LETTERS, PURPLE & BLUE) — FOR RENT (WHITE LETTERS ON BLUE GROUND) — FOR SALE CHEAP (WHITE LETTERS ON BLUE GROUND) — AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS & BAR-MITZVAHS (WHITE ON BLUE) — BARDO BITCH (WHITE ON BLUE) — I PULLED THE TRAIN (WHITE ON BLUE) — PEACE OF ASS (WHITE ON BLUE) — MAKE LOVE NOT WAR (TURQUOISE & LIGHT PURPLE) — FAR OUT (GOLD & BLUE) — SLIPPERY WHEN WET (WHITE LETTERS ON PURPLE GROUND) — ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE (WHITE LETTERS ON DEEP PURPLE) — SPIRITUAL SLUT (WHITE LETTERS ON REDDISH PURPLE) — VACUUMS SUCK (WHITE LETTERS ON BLUE GROUND).
That’s the list to date, but more to come, especially when Amy gets her tattoo designs out there, which will be soon, she says, although we’re heading into Merchant Heaven, the time of Holiday Season Marketing when all the merchants gather together and sing, “What a friend we have in Jesus”.
Humans of Planet Urth…don’t get me started.
All Round Tramp Stamps are $12.95 retail. If you want wholesale prices, you’ll have to do a lot of the work yourself, and order a significant number, because this space-age stuff is not cheap, like the waterslide tattoos of the 1940s. This is space-age stuff, and sticks to your skin for weeks, if you need them to. I don’t recommend it, but folks have said that they’ve worn them for up to 3 weeks now, with no bad indications such as itching or the arm falling off.
I’m working hard to get all the tattoos and nail art and jewelry and hats and tee shirts and hoodies and greeting cards up online, but it’s a matter of graphic processing, and that takes a lot more time than anyone would like it to.
Meanwhile, do your best. You can order from the list above. The earlier listings are not correct. Prices run this way, and are based on my cost per square inch of material plus the cost of layout & printing, plus the cost of physically driving in and doing the job at the printers:
TATTOO PRICES:
$24.95 RETAIL for one full 8 1/2″ x 11″ graphics page ready for application, with any tattoos on it as produced by me — I put on the adhesive protective layer, and close-cut the tattoo to fit. No custom arrangements of graphics can be made, unless the order is significant, as in 100 pages or more. You get what I make, period.
$12.95 RETAIL for any half-page ROUND Tramp Stamp. All Round Tramp Stamps are made 1/2 page so they’ll be OSFA, One Size Fits All.
$24.95 RETAIL for any Necklace Tattoo. All my necklace tattoos are totally knock-out gorgeous and are intended for runway shows, raves and love-ins. They can be duplicated in silver, if you fall in love with one or more of the designs. These are all Modernist pieces and definitely classify in the historical conceptual structure of Modernist Jewelry.
I am introducing a line of ANCIENT NECKLACE TATTOOS. Many of the necklaces that I have restored for a number of museums were beautifully photographed and/or scanned, and I have those graphics in my collection. I’ll be making them into tattoo necklaces, so you can walk around with a million-dollar necklace in perfect harmony with conservation.
In short, it looks great and makes you into royalty, but does no harm to the original piece.
At least one dozen of my necklaces came from the personal jewelry worn by Princess Meryt-Aten from the North Palace at Akhen-Aten, the ancient name for Amarna, Egypt. I’ll be making tattoo necklaces out of her bracelets, rings and broad-collars, as well.
I have many rare amulets from ancient Egypt, and will be using them as amuletic tattoos, which I think will be a first in the market.
Also look for Medieval Amulets, Talismen and Magic Circles & Squares, because I have a very large collection of photos I’ve taken of rare Magical Manuscripts of the 14th – 17th centuries; I’ll be showing the photos to indicate the sources of these, many of which have never been published in any form.
Cabalistic Calligraphy (I prefer “Kabbalistic”, but the spelling seems to elude most folks weaned on Wikipedia) is also being adapted for tattoos, mostly of the ritual variety, which I’ll have up & available as soon as I get some more models — I can’t load all the tattoos on three girls, so more will have to show up & volunteer their skin forms for a day or two in order to get all the shots we need.
It takes time to get them on, time to get them off, and a photo shoot of 4 hours barely touches what’s needed to get good shots. You can expect to get about 20 decent photos out of a day’s photo session, sometimes as many as 35 on a good day.
That means you won’t be seeing any of these things all that soon, unless someone with great looking skin shows up at the door and says “load me up with tattoos and take some shots, before I change my mind!!!”
I’ll give more details at the ICW this morning.
See You At The Top!!!
LeslieAnn