We all know the effects of aging, but if you’re out there on the ever-popular Mate-Market, age effects are anything but welcome. Let’s generate a short list of the biggest problems… okay, first on the list would be age lines, which includes crow’s feet, cracked lips, worry lines, frown lines and just plain pits, crags and crevices.
Then comes a parade of concerns: sagging breasts, butt and tummy; puffy eyes, mottled skin, corns, moles, cellulite, varicose veins and a variety of personal tragedies in the form of self-imagined “imperfections” and “blemishes”.
There are many thousands of remedies available to the elderly mate-hunter; first and foremost would be cosmetics, which can transform a person into someone they aren’t, as any movie-goer can tell you. In daylight, of course, the pumpkin reverts to type.
Other remedies include exotic dress, seductive lingerie, beachwear for the street, and other bootie-shaking devices that have historically been known to attract sexual attention, which — according to the Book of Love — can be manipulated into total dependency and even a fairly convincing form of romance.
There’s more… shoes are a biggie for sexual attraction. I daren’t go into it in detail, but in Freud’s “Psychopathia Sexualis”, written on his honeymoon, he gives several vivid examples of foot fetishalia, enough to satisfy a millipede.
Belts, scarves, pantihose — no, make that retro vintage style hose with the seam along the back — and hats, probably the most interesting thing to the mind of man since the invention of the bathtub.
It is interesting to note here that the medieval Catholic guide book of forbidden sexual acts is studied in detail by every God-fearing monk and nun. Like its readers, it comes in a plain brown or black and white wrapper. I’m not making this stuff up, guys, it’s your planet; I’m just commenting wryly on the side.
Then there’s the hair. Inevitably, it starts right in at the beginning of life to get thinner and thinner, sparser and sparser, leaving what look like bald spots at the crown, but actually, that’s just a byproduct of the gray roots coming in.
The problems for a senior mate-hunter is that there are a lot more things going wrong with the body than just the looks. There are internal struggles for survival, too — not to mention the bathroom issues.
Sorry, I know you asked me not to mention that.
There are other, perhaps at first blush invisible issues that cause dating problems, one of which could be the problem my divorced mother had in 1956 — a kid almost as old as her dates, one of whom was the very young-looking Steve McQueen, and her late husband, Capitol Records EMI Marketing Director Paul Donner Spencer, who looked about 24 years old his whole life, right into the box.
Nails. You can spend a small fortune on nails, and never get it right. Unwanted facial hair? Geez, if only it were limited to facial hair.
There are approximately 4.6 billion women shopping on their personal pads or iPhones right this very minute, looking for that thing they can use to get a man, hold a man, or regain a lost love — meaning the guy went into the broom closet at work for a quickie with one of the secretaries.
What a game, eh? But if you’re still into populating the planet and gaining some imaginary self-esteem boost by attracting someone through visual manipulaton, you’re in for the shock of your life at the end of your life.
Is there a cure?
Yes, there is. The Ashram Option. Work on the Ashram, don’t change your outer life at all. You’ll find that as your Avatar gets into better Contact, your life will change by itself. A lift in Spirit is what you need to overcome the organic addictions, sexual attractions, seductions, games, obsessions and dead-ends brought about by exposure to organic drives, such as “eat”, “sleep”, “find company to huddle with”, “take a dump”, “take a leak”, “smile” and the ever-popular “screw”, reserved for those boring times when there’s no pizza and nothing on tv.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby