Jenny at Cosmic Crossroads & Quantum Junction, where you can re-set the balances and character layouts across 30 different dimensions, if you know how to God.
How To God in Ten Easy Lessons:
It can’t be learned in ten lessons, hard or easy, and mastery is a long way down a very rocky road. But take heart, Pilgrim. The first step is always the hardest.
Step 1 — Show up.
Step 2 — Show up on time.
Step 3 — Get a clue what’s happening.
The other steps are not as clear-cut or quite so easy. I’ll try to provide a rough translation of the Higher Levels:
A sense of high responsibility goes with the God-thing. You’re running an Avatar inside a videogame. That’s your reality, buster or bustress…
To the Avatar, you’re merely a vaporous dream that vanishes at daybreak. Face it, the person in the mirror is probably the Real One.
So, O Reflection of The One, how do you plan to acquit yourself in the God business today?
Yeah, the God Biz is like farming, and like diary farming in particular; there’s a saying — The cows don’t know it’s Sunday. If you have no idea what that might mean, keep on truckin’, you got a ways to go just to get to “Start”.
You don’t even have to be God the Creator to get a real heavy effect from the local natives Down There on the planet “Whatever”. Generally, a newly discovered planet is named by its discoverer, except in the case of Percival B. Sheisskopff, the first amateur astronomer to realize that the sun, Sol, is “the nearest star”.
“93 millions miles away, and we can still feel the heat of the sun,” he was heard to say as he wandered off into the Great Gobi Desert in search of the Fountin’ uh Yout. Yes, “Yout”. In his Brooklyn grade school, that’s how it was said. Fountin’ uh Yout was the exact phrase.
Anyhow, you don’t even have to be God the Creator (ref: John Cunningham Lilly, M.D.; Simulations of God) to inspire awe, terror, fear and Vogon poetry waxing eloquently. All you need do is have “All-Quarters Maintainer” status, which is Archon 3, if you need to know, and move a building, yank a tree up into midair or vanish a luxury cruise ship in the blink of an eye.
It doesn’t take much.
See, when you exercise your admin powers, it looks to locals as if you’re God, a God or Goddess, or at the very least a son, daughter or personal agent of Mr. or Mrs. God.
To the general public, my friend Myron Coznowski is an engineer, but believe me, to other engineers, he’s no engineer.
Jenny at one of the messier and least agreeable Bardo Nimbus Stations, where one can find a secret teleport that leads to the Blue Radiation in a slightly higher dimension.
God comes from God-Duty, not from learning skills and acquiring powers. The skills and powers come with the job, but it behooves you to actually secure the position of God-in-Training or Bodhisattva-in-Training before you begin publishing an account of your unfinished journey.
Not that it wouldn’t be amusing.
Fact is, it might make some terrific reading. Sorry I mentioned it. Go right ahead and publish.
Godding is a job and, like any other job, you have to keep good hours, it pays a little by the hour and slightly more piece-work, such as miracle healing, levitation and gas relief.
Locals have it easy. Wake up in the morning, hear the ding-dong ring, go marchin’ to the table, see the same damn thing.
All-in-all, it’s better to be a Judge than a Miner.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby