I hesitate to sign the name I first assumed when I landed on Earth. My UFO crashed, as you probably already know if we’ve met and you asked me about the antennae that extend, from time to time, out the top of my head. My first identity, which I thought blended perfectly with the environment of the time was “Joe Green”. These days it would’ve been perfect, but to the Sumerians, it didn’t make any sense, and they weren’t into Italian opera. Anyhow, so many folks have asked me this, I might as well give a straight answer:
The question goes more or less like this: “How likely is it that life exists outside Earth’s boundaries?”
Here’s my clear and concise answer as a scientist and as an interdimensional shaman:
The Bacardi Nebula and many others contain vodka stretched across 463 billion kilometres of space and time.
Methanol is not ethanol, but ethyl has also been discovered. The fact is that there’s enough pure vodka in the center of our galaxy to fill billions upon billions of shot glasses.
What’s my point? My point is not about water. Where you’ll find life is anywhere that has alcohol, which is pretty much everywhere throughout every Einsteinian universe, including this one — which happens to be both infinite and duplicated an infinite number of times. Don’t ask me how.
So ethyl alcohol, C2H5OH, contains Hydrogen, Oxygen and Carbon.
Life demands 3, maybe 4 elements:
Hydrogen=59%, Oxygen=24%, Carbon=11% and if you’ve got it handy, Nitrogen at around 4% or so.
All that’s needed are a few stray iceballs to form and fall onto cooled-down planets. This happens often enough to make space and interdimensional travel a luggage nightmare. I hope this settles things once and for all about whether or not there’s life where I come from. But to whom am I talking? This planet boasts a box-office smash hit that has an advanced civilization with robots and instantaneous transmission and faster-than-lightspeed travel, but it can’t figure out an automatic aiming device for its anti-spacecraft ack-ack guns, and it needs to handle recoil in laser weaponology.
There is no sound in space. I have spoken.
My Thesis is thus proven: “Where there’s Life, There’s Bud!”
See You At The Top!
gorby